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The Sunday Knee-Jerk – Round 21

I’m really struggling to introduce this week. What do you call it? I’ll be honest with you, my patience is running extremely thin with DT. You would’ve had a better weekend with a Round 1 team full of rookies.

I’m really struggling to introduce this week. What do you call it? I’ll be honest with you, my patience is running extremely thin with DT. You would’ve had a better weekend with a Round 1 team full of rookies. Most of us (who are still left) are just crawling to the grand final, but let’s look at the positives. We all still have 4 trades to get rid of those… ***** that hurt us most. If ever there was a Round to do so, it’s time to knee-jerk!

The Legends

This section can be kept as brief as possible, because let’s face it they did not define our weekend. Swan (131) is a hero, if you didn’t captain oink then shame on you for visiting this site. Boak (152) was unbelievable… Pity no one has him. Watson (121) is proving to be a masterful exponent of the ‘old school DT philosophy’ of picking up underpriced premos, a true champion. Allegedly. Johnson (143) continues his career best season, pushing an average of 120. In fact (And this is a fact) he is the HIGHEST averaging player for the year. As a forward. And I haven’t missed a game. Yes I still don’t have Selwood (135). I do have Stokes (127) however, both were brilliant. Selwood surely a Brownlow favourite by now.  Bartel (111) also joined in on the party at Patersons, whilst Scott Selwood (112) continues his breakthrough DT year. Terlich (123) probably pissed off a lot of his owners with a monster score on the pine.

The Sunday Chops

I can split this week into a few categories. Disappointing, unlucky, sh*thouse and Dustin Martin. It’s literally like the DT gods have mocked all our complaints from the last few weeks, thought that 44 trades was too easy and tried to bribe our favourite sons into ruining our weekend. I mean Martin (28). What the f**k. Do you want me to spell that out for you? 28. Twenty-eight. That has to go down as the worst premium score in the history of DT. I have nothing else to say. Dangerfield (78) and Jack (82) were disappointing, and both must be on your teams respective chopping blocks. That is until you start to examine the unlucky side of things. I can almost guarantee our teams are going to be destroyed by carnage this week, thanks to the injury crisis that has proceeded. Heppell (35), Hanley (46), and Hartlett (80) are all in doubt for next week in defence. At least they’re all popular, watch out! Sandilands (15), Cox (98) and Hitchcock (17) (yes I have him, don’t laugh) are also under injury/suspension clouds. But no, the poor injured souls are not those I am after. It is the pathetic, useless bloody premiums that can’t even score 60!!! Cotchin (51). Was that some kind of sick joke? I know Mick will tag anyone with 2 legs, but at least give us a 70. O’Keefe (55) can’t even get a touch without a tag! He wasn’t even tagging anyone else! He ran through the mids all day for 3 kicks… Time to hang up the boots ROK. Malthouse even tagged Ellis (55). He’s just turned 20 mate, maybe focus on fixing your own bloody team. Ladies and Gentleman we have another Lyon challenger!

If anyone kept Shaw (37) after last week’s performance then, god help your soul. This is the 150th reason to never ever ever ever ever… ever pick Heath Shaw in your Dream team. Roughead (43) proved once again that key forwards can never be trusted. And also that gingers should still be avoided whenever possible. If anyone still has McKenzie (59) they probably haven’t made all 44 trades, and are most likely sailing the Caribbean by now. An early Mad Monday! Not a premium. Kennedy (58) was never going to keep up that 95 avg for the whole season, I’m personally surprised he kept it up for as long as he did. Will continue to struggle as the Eagles season dies away so I’d be trading quick smart. Malceski (47) has been slaughtered by the return of Shaw, once again the Shaw family is here to ruin our weekend. However finally, after long deliberation… Ablett (82) is the second biggest loser of the weekend in my eyes. 28 (I’ll say it again, 28) cannot be beaten. However (from the biggest gun in the game) a price tag of under 500k, a BE of 170 and a 3 week average of 78 brings a tear to my eye. Sad days my friends, sad days…

The Clown

Arsene Wenger has once again proved that if you make the same mistake once, then again, then again… Things don’t suddenly turn around! For those who don’t understand what I’m talking about, basically Arsenal have once again bought no players, lost their first game and found themselves in crisis. “Those who stand still get left behind” was a quote that sticks to my mind, the same could be said in DT. Second prize goes to the referee at the Arsenal game, unfortunately news has just come through that his OPSM sponsorship has been terminated. Our thoughts and prayers are not with him.

What we’ve learnt?

  • Hansen scored an incredible 43 points in just 10 minutes, before scoring 19 in the next 70. Yes, that is a pretty big turn off.
  • Almost as big a turn off as last weekends Saturday night fixtures.
  • Stanton is now my 5th on my chopping list. Dark days.
  • Consistency is the most underrated DT trait, if it even exists anymore. Barlow has gone under 100 once (97) in the last 15 weeks. Don’t forget it.
  • Unless your name is Joel Selwood, in which case your consistently over 120. Freak.
  • Big men truly lack brains. Minson and Cox both under MRP scrutiny for needless crap, right when we need them.
  • Not as crap as Martin’s 28. Ok I’ve almost run that into the ground by now. Almost.
  • As you can clearly see above, nothing new or exciting actually happened this week. To spice things up, here’s one of my favourite bits of comedy. Do yourself a favour and treat yourself to all his best work. (Warning: Political correctness is not his strong point)

This game sh*ts me

I am over this game and its constant bullsh*t. The amount of crap we’ve been dished out this year is almost unfair. How many of you went out in straight sets? Too many. Dustin f**king Martin! And that’s why this game sh*ts me.

The other bits and pieces.

Thankgod the EPL season has started, because I am starting to struggle with finals still 2 weeks away and DT a snowballing pile of sh*t. That’s a pretty accurate way to put it unfortunately. If you are still involved in some key match-ups against your mates, good luck! Be sure to send me your tough luck stories when they happen, we don’t accept good luck here. As always you can check us out over at or follow us @FPLaddicts if DT is too much to handle. Cheers!

If you enjoyed my raging and want a hittable punching bag when sh*t goes tits up, follow me on twitter @MattCraigDT. My views are honest, mostly helpful and occasionally entertaining! Also hit me up with any suggestions for who you thought were the Legends, Losers and Clowns, plus what you’ve learnt the past week. I value everyone’s opinion!



  1. discomute

    August 18, 2013 at 10:42 pm

    Hansen still got us 91! And what about the Voldt’s form…

    • Matt

      August 18, 2013 at 11:12 pm

      good but not quite legendary. Happy to have him

      • Simon

        August 19, 2013 at 8:49 am

        104 against Sydney at the SCG is borderline legendary. The guy is a champion!

  2. Elliott Dwyer-Long

    Elliott Dwyer-Long

    August 18, 2013 at 10:44 pm

    Yep shit week. Pretty sure I had 90% of those on your list…

    Heppell, Enright, Malceski, Shaw, Cox, Minson, JJK, Scotland, Grimes, O’Keefe, Cotchin, Martin.

    And I’m out.

  3. Edward

    August 18, 2013 at 10:45 pm

    Ah always lifts my sunday night mood after DT has turned to shit. The whole DT community owes you one Matt for putting our frustrations into words this season :D Love the video as well hahaha

    • Matt

      August 18, 2013 at 11:13 pm

      :D Cheers mate!

    • Damo

      August 18, 2013 at 11:15 pm

      +1 matty my man cheers for helping me vent each sunday night, topped my league for total points during the season but knocked out in the semi by my mate, could not be madder

  4. Jack


    August 18, 2013 at 11:07 pm

    Griffen or jelwood either way will be getting both just depends wat week this week or the next. At the moment I think jelwood coz he will go up in price more than Griffen

    • Simon

      August 19, 2013 at 8:55 am

      Price is pretty much irrelevant with two weeks to go. You gonna offload him next week? Didn’t think so. It’s all about points now mate.

      You’re probably taking the p!ss, but it’s dead set hard to tell.

  5. GrandOldFlag

    August 18, 2013 at 11:13 pm

    Scrapped through in all my leagues, with one of them a draw (I finished higher on the ladder). That Dustin Martin score was worth mentioning that many times, but when the tag shifted from Delidio to Cotchin….. AAAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!

  6. Jake

    August 18, 2013 at 11:24 pm

    How long is hartlett and heppell out for?

    • Hotties

      August 18, 2013 at 11:49 pm


  7. Michael

    August 18, 2013 at 11:28 pm

    Knocked out in straight sets after losing one league game all season, I don’t even know how to feel

    • Matt

      August 19, 2013 at 3:03 am


    • D Day

      August 19, 2013 at 10:05 am

      You should have a crywank. Will make you feel better.

    • Daudy

      August 19, 2013 at 11:08 am

      This is partially due to so many trades this season also. Come finals time, even people 20,000 places behind you overall have very solid starters, so results are often much closer and can be decided by one dodgy score from a ‘premium’.

      Happened to me last week (though luckily I made the most of my second chance this week).

  8. Big Feller

    August 19, 2013 at 7:47 am

    Nice work Matt.
    The only problem with you saying trade out players like JJK is that I’d need 15 trades to fix my problems this week!

  9. FMDT

    August 19, 2013 at 8:36 am

    Who to trade out to get Scott selwood:

    1. Stanton


    2. Ryan OKeef

    • Simon

      August 19, 2013 at 8:57 am

      I’m more worried about the fate of Heppell, Hanley, Hartlett and Cox. If you don’t have any of those guys (or any other unexpected carnage), then ditch Stanton. He’s the most frustrating player to have in your team (just pips Sam Mitchell, Heath Shaw and Greg Broughton for that honour).

    • Brak


      August 19, 2013 at 10:24 am

      Well earlier in the year Stanton scored 52 vs Carlton (this weeks opponent) so I would trade if I had the chance. Carlton is tagging like crazy, I think Watson was also tagged.

  10. Mitch-5

    August 19, 2013 at 11:58 am

    Great work Matt…couldn’t agree more – could have had a team of rookies and scored more. Sitting 250th overall but got knocked out of my league in straight sets by someone sitting at 35000. Thank you Monsieurs Griffen, O’Keefe, Jack, Ablett, Heppell, Shaw, Roughead and Martin. FMDT and sayonara for 2013.

  11. Farnzy

    August 19, 2013 at 12:02 pm

    Martin’s score of 28 was hard to swallow, but with almost 50% of the competition owning him you would have been hard pressed to play someone in the finals that didn’t have him too. Not quite worst score by a premium in DT history, maybe DT finals. Pretty sure in 2010 Brent Harvey scored 18 in round 2 only to score 163 the following week, so if you were lucky enough to get through to the Prelim hold out hope that Dusty can produce something similar (he is playing GWS).

  12. Mark

    August 19, 2013 at 12:40 pm

    Ranked inside the top 200 and gonski, knocked out by a team ranked outside top 20,000 who had no Martin, Heppell or Hanley. That is why this year, this game shits me

  13. Jeff

    August 19, 2013 at 1:00 pm

    Bringing in Boak was the best thing I have done all season. This game does shit me, but the fact that anything is possible is also the reason I love it! No point picking trades based on averages now I reckon. Go with your gut and take a risk I say.

    • dirk diggler

      August 19, 2013 at 1:18 pm

      couldn’t agree more. I almost lost the will to live this weekend.

  14. dirk diggler

    August 19, 2013 at 1:16 pm

    My oppo had Roughead Cotchin and traded IN Heath Shaw.
    ..and he still beat me.

  15. Daniel

    August 19, 2013 at 4:40 pm

    This week I had…

    Shaw, Ellis, Martin, JJK, Heppel, Cotchin, Jack, Ablett….

    And in the footytips comp you can add Roughead, Hanley and Malceski to the list. Yep… that’s ownership of every major spud for the round!

    FMDT. And thank god for the week off.
    I’m up against Dangerfield in the Prelim. He has Hartlett, Hanley & Heppel and that may be the only thing I have to smile about.

    • Daniel

      August 19, 2013 at 4:42 pm

      Oh and not to mention I benched Bartel (111) for Tippet.. who was smashing out another bag of goals, until his coach decided to be an arrogant PR!CK and SUB HIM OFF ON 88!!

      I also had McKenzie on the DEF bench, who outscored Shaw & Heppel by 30-odd points. And Sitchell at M9 outscoring Cotchin by another 30 points.

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