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The Sunday Knee-Jerk – Round 14

It looked like the apocalypse was occurring on Sunday afternoon, the ever reliable Champion Data crashed! I tend to think it was a blessing in disguise… It saved fools like me with any Brisbane players the pain of flat lines longer than the last Ice Age. However the reality check that hit when the scores reappeared can only be shared by Charlie Sheen.

It looked like the apocalypse was occurring on Sunday afternoon, the ever reliable Champion Data crashed! I tend to think it was a blessing in disguise… It saved fools like me with any Brisbane players the pain of flat lines longer than the last Ice Age. However the reality check that hit when the scores reappeared can only be shared by Charlie Sheen. A round that was so promising on Saturday night had simply incinerated into flames by Sunday afternoon. How did we all fare, how many spuds do you want on the chopping block this week? It’s time to knee-jerk!

The Legends

BREAKING NEWS: An Eagles fan respects Jobe Watson (122). That can’t be right, they’re the booing scum of the Earth? Ok maybe not that far, but let’s not be naive, Jobe was going to get boos no matter who he played, it doesn’t mean the whole crowd got involved. He’s still a champion of the game and his 122 was better than all of our supposed captain locks! Legend. Gibbs (119) should have come into my line-up this week, hindsight tells me I’m an idiot. No second mistakes, he’s the biggest lock of the competition at the moment. Good defenders are nowhere to be seen. How was the game of Prestia (157)! 42 touches if you don’t mind, now there’s a DT name we will hear more of in the future! Griffen (136) did a fantastic job yet again, however I sense some tight tags coming his way over the next few weeks. Buyer beware! Finally I’ve got to give a shout out to Laird (108) and most importantly Terlich (112). The way our defensive premos are travelling Terlich could be sitting in my side for the rest of the season! Don’t underestimate the Dees new coach and easy fixtures, he looks a gun.

The Sunday Chops

I’m going to keep this short and simple. Vlastuin’s 0 gave me and many others a donut, something I will touch on in a second. That’s sh*t. So in the midst of the carnage surely our big guns will step up to the mantle! Swan (73). WHAT THE ****! I’ve been doubting his pig status as he is yet to reach 140 this season, however I didn’t see this coming. And there I was disappointed with captain Ablett’s 109! Lift your game, Swanny. Duffield (51) was unlucky. 13 minutes into the 2nd his owners would have been thinking, here comes my owed ton. Nek minnit, broken glass. Time to trade. A light hearted warning to Hibberd (69) and Ellis (72). Good defenders are hard to come by, even so they were pretty poor. But nothing like Selwood (38). There’s a tagged score when you score 80, then there’s an off day when you score 60, then there’s Selwood’s effort on Saturday night. Disgusting is the best I can come up with. Shithouse is another term for it. Fyfe (76) has been nothing but average for those who brought him in with a great draw to come. The thing about having a good draw is you have to be in form to capitalise. Dump! Finally the Brisbane pair of Zorko (57) and Rockliff (63). Rocky may escape my axe at F7 as Voss continues to spread his disease throughout the comp. Not much more to say about these 2 and their sh*tness, just look to get them off the park ASAP!

The Clown

Diving. Seriously, the amount of whining I heard during the qualifiers as I had to endure the consistent complaints about soccer and acting. Fact is, it’s creeping into our beloved game of AFL. Jack Watts was the biggest clown in the land last week with his superman dive, now I see Reece Conca get hit in the stomach, before throwing himself to the ground and holding his head. Really… Eliminate it from the game before it spreads, clowns!

What we’ve learnt?

  • Any game with a margin of more than 5 goals is pretty much unwatchable without live DT scores.
  • Swan’s score was more painful than taking the knife out of Julia’s back.
  • Don’t be greedy. Always take a 120 from your captain!
  • The GWS tactics of 10 men behind the ball were about as effective as trying to cross the Himalayas with nothing but a packet of tim tams and a good knitted sweater.
  • The Orica Green Edge team should probably think more carefully about what bus they buy.
  • Quite seriously, this is as close as I can come to my Vlastuin late withdrawal reaction.
  • Crowley is to DT what tomato is to a burger. It’s simply annoying and makes for a less pleasurable experience.

This game sh*ts me

Naming players on a Friday afternoon that WERE NEVER GOING TO PLAY! WHY! I cost myself 91 points by backing in Vlastuin to play today. Now I admit I made the wrong call but seriously, if they haven’t trained all week (according to reports) and a player leaks that he isn’t going to play as early as Saturday, JUST NAME HIM OUT! Wouldn’t of thought it was that hard, instead I’m left eating a donut. And that’s why this game sh*ts me.

The other bits and pieces.

Well after such a promising start had me sitting on 15/1632 on Saturday night, my remaining 7 players only just averaged 60. Talk about a choke! 2068 held me at 68 (somehow) but next week’s a new week! Good Matt, no sh*t. It’s the only positive I’ve got! Hope you all fared better than me, if not then feel free to vent away in the comments down below. Cheers!

Tread carefully Brandon, you don’t want your public image to reach that low. Enough geling the hair and get scoring again!

If you enjoyed my raging and want a hittable punching bag when sh*t goes tits up, follow me on twitter @MattCraigDT. My views are honest, mostly helpful and occasionally entertaining! Also hit me up with any suggestions for who you thought were the Legends, Losers and Clowns, plus what you’ve learnt the past week. I value everyone’s opinion!



  1. northern nemesis

    June 30, 2013 at 9:30 pm

    1.Ben Kennedy gone, replace with Staker and bring in Mitch “The Voice” Clisby.
    2. Cotchin. Enough is enough is enough !!!!. Go and play with Birchall and Robbo in the park. ARRRRGGGHHH !

    …ah, much better….

    • northern nemesis

      June 30, 2013 at 9:36 pm

      Sorry ! Great article as per usual. Totally agree with late withdrawals too. Love the Crowley line :-)

    • DTKING

      June 30, 2013 at 9:49 pm

      +1. Great point northern nemesis.


      June 30, 2013 at 9:58 pm

      62 at half time… Then ends on 87?? Cotch is wearing thin…

  2. mrobbo0812

    June 30, 2013 at 9:32 pm

    Exactly my thoughts about naming Vlastuin in the starting lineup, cost me my game and I was top spot in my league!

    • Ticonderous

      July 1, 2013 at 12:02 pm

      +1 for me also but not top spot

    • Dan

      July 1, 2013 at 10:38 pm

      Exact same thing, absolute bull yarn, cause I lost be 60 and then selwood was a joke

  3. adam88

    June 30, 2013 at 9:34 pm

    The picture below Ellis didnt work.. hard to get the joke lol great writeup as always. I had barlow/scooter/birhcall/goodes/vlastuin/stevie J combo.. scraped up a 1978

    • Damo


      June 30, 2013 at 9:46 pm

      Its Joffrey from Game of Thrones

    • Matt

      June 30, 2013 at 10:20 pm

      haha yeah I guess it won’t make much sense if you don’t watch Game of Thrones… Get on it! :P

  4. Thomas

    June 30, 2013 at 9:39 pm

    Great Read Matt!

  5. buckets

    June 30, 2013 at 9:39 pm

    Rocky -> Bartel??

    • buckets

      June 30, 2013 at 9:40 pm

      Great read as usual!

      • Simon

        June 30, 2013 at 10:31 pm

        I would

  6. Thomas

    June 30, 2013 at 9:40 pm

    Great Read Matt.

  7. Ryan

    June 30, 2013 at 9:42 pm

    Should i trade Staker-Hanley and have 30k with goodes or vlastuin as my emergency with 30k left or trade cotchin for danger/stanton/boyd and have vlastuin and goodes starting on my field for a while until i somehow find money.


    June 30, 2013 at 9:59 pm

    wait till thurs arvo.. All will be revealed.

  9. Hodgy

    June 30, 2013 at 10:13 pm

    Good Read!!! as always the great pick me up after a usually disappointing Sunday…

    • Matt

      June 30, 2013 at 10:21 pm

      Sunday’s have been real shit recently…

  10. knickers

    June 30, 2013 at 10:15 pm

    I was happy with my score this week (I’m easily pleased) The thing that made my knee jerk is the Banners on either side of the dream team screen. They are 2 to 3 mm to far in I couldn’t see the projected scores among other things. Not a real big deal in the scheme of things but annoyed just the same. I notice the AFL site has them also however they are either not as far in or the centre part of the screen is narrower. Anyway vented here as shrug had no idea where else to do it…^_^

    • Brayden

      June 30, 2013 at 10:46 pm

      noticed that aswell and am getting really annoyed with it

  11. What the bejeebers

    June 30, 2013 at 10:32 pm

    Always nice to see you rage Matt and then end up with a respectable score!
    Facing a dilemma this week, i have two options, both are down/upgrades, so i have a lot of thinking to do, imma get to it :)

    • Matt

      June 30, 2013 at 10:40 pm

      Respectable ain’t good enough! :P

  12. Albert Lloyd

    June 30, 2013 at 10:43 pm

    This week

    Staker -> Clisby

    O’Meara -> Prestia

  13. johnny fontane

    June 30, 2013 at 10:58 pm

    zorko is a flop this year. anyone that still has him might as well give up now. but little harsh on rockliff no? he was nearly the best forward in dt in first half of season. lost a bit of form with injury. is spending more time forward. but that could help him in coming weeks with a soft draw. Hamish hartlett showed us form can come go and come again. I wouldn’t cut rockliff unless my team had no other problems (0% chance)

    • Matt

      June 30, 2013 at 11:15 pm

      I’ll give up then ;) Bigger fish to fry, SJ not helping

      • sparlo

        July 1, 2013 at 5:25 pm

        Do you mean f7 or f6 for Rocky. Would be quite harpy if I could afford to have him sitting on the bench at f7.

        As an Eagles fan I didn’t agree with Jobe being booed but we have copped it in spades since Cuz’s 12 month ban for illicit drugs.

        Jobe was using a drug which is a protein fragment of growth hormone for f**k’s sake. I don’t care what you say, anything related to growth hormone should be an automatic suspension and the fact that they are trying to get off on a technicality because the drug is not actually registered for human use anywhere in the world is laughable. That should be even more reason to suspend the whole team.

        What the Bombers did is certainly not in the spirit of the game and has brought the sport into disrepute at an international level and they simply have to be punished for it.

        Sorry if you are a bombers supporter.

  14. Ben

    June 30, 2013 at 10:58 pm

    Double downgrade this week….Ellis – Clisby and Caff – Daniher then next week hello Ablett + 1, goodbye lids and fyfe……

    • Adam

      July 1, 2013 at 8:10 am

      wow easy with ellis mate…hes had 2 average games but still playing midfield may just have been a little quieter than he has been recently. other than gibbs/goddard/heppell there arent any defenders that are ripping it out of the park other than ibbotson but even he has had some 60 type scores.

  15. Simon

    June 30, 2013 at 11:05 pm

    Great work Matt, as always!

    This is probably a common gripe, but I scored the 2nd highest in my league this week (2161) and still lost… to the team coming 14th in my league and 63,000th overall. He had pretty much an entire team of blue mooners!

  16. Danny

    June 30, 2013 at 11:20 pm

    Great write up Matt. I just won eliminator and 2nd league, but lost my money league game by 40 odd to someone who jagged Laird and Libba, ffs. I was grinning that GAJ managed just over a ton, then had to watch Swan get 73 as my C. Mcaffer and Bennedy to Tippett and Daniher for me this week, (subject to change)before bringing in K Jack and Bartel. 1st, 3rd, and active in elim, 720K in bank still, got to be happy, but still seem to be pullin my hair out

    • kelonwheels

      July 1, 2013 at 9:07 am

      If I had that much in the bank I wouldn’t bother with Daniher. Just get Jimmy B this week and if u need cash later downgrade to someone on the bubble then. Not much use building a bank while u miss so many points and with two trades a week u can always make money one way or another.

      • Danny

        July 1, 2013 at 9:38 am

        cheers kelon, will look at that, and see who is on horizon for bubble over next few weeks, all the best

  17. Tim

    June 30, 2013 at 11:24 pm

    Matt, to be fair, GreenEdge have had that bus since they started. The TDF Organisers are at fault.

  18. Michael

    June 30, 2013 at 11:35 pm

    agree with ya matt regarding richmond and vlastuin….gave me a donut and cost me in eliminator against a hack team

    • Blue boys

      July 1, 2013 at 10:35 am

      Not sure there would be any hack teams left in the eliminator. Realistically you couldn’t have gotten much more warning that Vlastuin would be out this round, so to hold him without cover was going to be very dangerous.
      I had Staker as cover for Vlastuin, but still decided to trade Vlas out for Pendles to avoid taking a likely poor score from Staker.

  19. Christopher Duong

    July 1, 2013 at 1:32 am

    Team Name: chrisduong
    Round 14 Score: 2105
    League Results: 12
    Eliminator Status: out
    DT Studs: Griffin, Crouch, Laird, Cornes, Gibbs Terlich
    DT Duds: Swan, Shaw, Rockliff, Vlastuin
    On the Chopping Block: Bloody Vlastuin & rocky
    Vent/Brag/Whatever: 2105 by copping a donut, swan capt, shaw on field ugh.

  20. northern nemesis

    July 1, 2013 at 7:32 am

    Don’t watch all the games so can someone tell me why Ellis and Rocky aren’t scoring as well? Different roles ? Tags ? Rocky spending more time forward ? having a nap ? what ??? Looking at replacing soon if output doesn’t go up.

    • Adam

      July 1, 2013 at 7:56 am

      ellis i cant give you a reason why his scoring has fallen to me it looks like he just isnt getting a lot of it…still playing midfield and definitely doesnt look to have a tag what so ever. He was free a lot of times but overlooked quite a few times for some reason dont know if it was just unlucky or the tigers dont like the ball in his hands but looks that way.

      Voss is playing rockliff up front hence his suffering scores over the past 4-5 weeks whereas before he was playing predominantly in the midfield. Fk u voss.

      • northern nemesis

        July 1, 2013 at 8:36 am

        Thanks Adam. Best of DT luck for the rest of the year.

        • Adam

          July 1, 2013 at 8:51 am

          no worries. be interested in other peoples opinions myself about ellis. you too mate.

          • northern nemesis

            July 1, 2013 at 9:09 am

            Don’t need to trade him…yet. I’m setup pretty much where I want to be. 250k in bank and prob need 1 more mid (Titch would be M9 then) and fwd (if Rocky stays in fwd line) Was looking at Enright if Ellis drops off. Will look at run home for all teams.

    • Blue boys

      July 1, 2013 at 10:52 am

      NN, with regards to Ellis and what i saw of the game (about 1.5 quarters)……he was bypassed a fair bit later on because they were in control of the game and going long & direct more often than not. Ellis still had his chances but dropped a couple marks/mishandled a few balls, in the wet conditions.
      I have him and not too fussed cause he’s showed he can score well. My plans is to hold him and try to have him as 1 of 7 defenders i can use.

    • Blue boys

      July 1, 2013 at 10:55 am

      btw, Adam is pretty much spot on with Rocky. While Voss is happy with 10 goal losses he will continue to play Rocky up forward……..strange considering he has only kicked 7.7 for the year and best is a 1 goal game!!!

  21. Big Feller

    July 1, 2013 at 9:32 am

    Great work but I thought Cloke rated a mention – especially as I traded him in for his heart warming 63! At least he made his b/e.
    Trent Cotchin is a little girl!

    • Ticonderous

      July 1, 2013 at 12:05 pm

      The thing with Cloke is he is either great or rubbish he either score 100+ or 60 odd i would rather him score around 80 – 85 a week than 147 one week and 67 the next … dont know why i keep him

      • Big Feller

        July 1, 2013 at 1:31 pm

        I thought I’d bring him in to cover Stevie J while he was suspended! As soon as Stevie J is back he’s Gaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  22. Daniel

    July 1, 2013 at 4:12 pm

    This is my week in Super coach:

    Daniher, Maric, Stevie J, Barlow, B Goodes, Thurlow, Mayes– all not playing.

    Traded Barlow to Lachie Hunter.. green vested for 6 points!

    Vlastuin late withdrawal and no bench cover.. donut.
    Add in an average score of 77 between Shaw, Boyd, Jack, Swan, Deledio..

    Could’ve been even wore with Swan Captain if I hadnt taken Watson’s 127 (phew!!)

    Crawled my way to 1979, after a 2235 during a BYE ROUND. Shows how unlucky I’ve been during regular rounds with 4 extra players.

  23. SpinDoctor

    July 1, 2013 at 4:23 pm

    Trading Scotland to Bartel and Blicavs to Daniher/Miche.

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