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The Sunday Knee-Jerk – Round 8

Stage 1 of the season has passed. We have cleared most of the rooks of our field and scores are starting to rise. Trading strategies are now coming into play and those with stronger squads will have all gone big this week, the average should be massive!

Stage 1 of the season has passed. We have cleared most of the rooks of our field and scores are starting to rise. Trading strategies are now coming into play and those with stronger squads will have all gone big this week, the average should be massive! There were a few bullets here and there, of course I took most of them. It’s about time really. I’d found myself in hospital on Saturday night, my DT bandaged and in pain. However the drugs have worked a treat! Vlastuin is acting like morphine to my DT and carrying me past what looks to be an average score this week. Respectability is not what I’m about though, bullsh*t still hit me hard! It’s time to knee-jerk!

The Legends

Jack (138) in the box is rewarding all those who took the punt on him early. Gun, however I’m not scrambling to jump aboard. We’ve learnt our lesson, right? Wrong. We never learn, chasing points just feels so good! For the week their previous score sits pretty in your team. Ablett (135). Well, what more can I say. His new name is BJ, can you figure it out? He’ll get a mention later. It’s about time I can include Pendlebury (127) in here, he is absolute class! If you don’t have him now is the time to jump on board. This bloke had a slow start but JPK (135) is starting to hit his straps. He’s extremely cheap, but is he fools gold? If this was supercoach talk then yes I’d say to get on, but it’s not. I’m not convinced he’s a premium dreamteamer. Now here is a premium dreamteamer. Bartel (119) is going to be my love hate relationship for the season. One week he is a ghost, the next he is a gold class slut! Safe pick. I have already mentioned Vlastuin (131) as DT morphine. Or if you were already on target for a monster, DT ecstasy! Quite a few rooks acted as morphine to our scores this week, not many better than Dwyer (104). For those of us who lost faith and traded him, he pumped out a special 53 point last quarter. Made piss. Terlich (120) decided to smash out a monster score the first week he finds himself on my pine. Of course he did. Gun pick though, watch his price fly! O’Meara (99) is a legitimate gun already, yet he’s only 19! Should be your last upgrade. Ellis (155) took the piss with a great first quarter, then he surpassed that! I thought at one stage he was a legitimate chance for the double ton. For those who jumped on at 217k, I tip my hat to you. For those who didn’t, it might not be too late! As the great Stewie Griffin stated, “it doesn’t matter how you find the pot of gold, only that you beat the leprechaun.” Taylor Adams (126) has averaged 113 in his past 3 and is lighting it up! However I wouldn’t rush to this pot of gold… Yes that completely went against my quote. Moving on.

The Sunday Chops

Michael Voss. Michael bloody Voss. I like to compare Voss to King Joffrey in Game of Thrones. He is ruthless and enjoys inflicting pain on others. This weekend he gave Mayes (31) the green vest and played Rocky (83) at full forward. I thought that was so last season! Mayes needs to go this week, he made some quick cash but I don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel with Brisbane’s fixtures. When Birchall (36) owners saw him up against GWS I’m sure they would’ve been licking their lips. Anything other than a ton would seem like a failure. Now a half ton would have looked nice. These ridiculously low scores by our so called ‘premiums’ is being taken to new levels each week. Long gone are the memories of Hartlett (59) being the in-form defender in DT. He has taken sh*t to the next level. We all thought it couldn’t get worse after a 37 and a 32. Surely at least a half-hearted (geddit) performance will be shown. How ****ing wrong was I? Not only did he score a painfully weak 59, but he wasn’t even tagged! To make things worse, he’s gone and punched Murphy twice in the guts and hit him with a forearm to the head. Luckily we won’t need to see him playing for a couple of weeks, not that you noticed him anyway. Gawn. G. A. W. N. Gawn. Wines (68) isn’t living up to his name unfortunately. Wines usually get better with time, however he is slowly sliding backwards. We can’t expect too much of the kid, and he will be a gun in years to come, but he has to be on the chopping block this week. What’s happened to Joel Selwood (69)? He’s been a gun ever since debuting and this looked like the year to take him to super premo level. Geelong has stepped up again, but not on the back of their inspirational captain. Don’t jump on until he shows some consistent form. Those who snuck in Wellingham (8) would have been feeling good for a couple of weeks. Now they will ponder the meaning of DT. Unlucky! Wright (45) has obviously taken a joke too far aimed at Brendon Sanderson. He’s been subbed again! What did he do wrong? Dump as quick as you can, who wants the worries of a vest with one of their premiums. Finally Sh*tfield (36) has overstayed his welcome, if you still have him. You thought I had forgotten… you’re right, I had. How could I forget, I’m currently suffering third degree burns. At exactly 6:12pm EST on a Saturday evening there was a late withdrawal leaked. Did you hear it? That was the sound of 37,000 coaches lighting themselves on fire.

The Clown

I have touched on the issue a few times but seriously, the laws of the game committee need to wake up to themselves. First it was if you push, bump or block in a marking contest, specifically two actions, then a free against would be paid. That only happens, I dunno, 150 times a game? Then it was looking for a full extension of the arms. So now you could half push them in the back. What about a three-quarter push? Then suddenly this weekend they are letting them all go, until Cloke takes a strong mark and gets ridiculously penalised. Again. Confusion continues to reign supreme. The worst thing is that Gieschen can come out and defend the free kick paid against Cloke, but then ignore the other 100 times it happened this weekend. Just scrap the bit part rules and have a clear, simple push in the back rule. Like its always been. The umpires are confused, the players are confused, everyone’s confused yet nothing changes. Don’t fix what ain’t broken. Rant over.

What we’ve learnt?

  • There’s nothing like the sight of some gold locks running around a football field. Especially when those locks are laying tackles like there’s no tomorrow.
  • Waters is a man’s DTer. You cringe watching him back into every pack and scream “Don’t do it!”. You open your eyes and there he is getting another +6. One day I fear we’ll look and see his body in 3 separate pieces.
  • Nic Naitinui would have created one of the AFL’s best moments in recent memory. Terrible shame an umpiring call will somewhat dour it. An umpiring call that was fair based on the last 12 months! He got tackled in the head? Alright enough, I won’t go there (I’m not saying I like it). Ok I’ve gone there, debate away in the comments…
  • We won’t see the real Majak happen for another few years yet… leave him alone!
  • Geelong need a serious kick up the ass when it comes to team news. They knew SJ was injured, cheeeeeeers for letting us know. ****.
  • Swan you’re fat! Now please go and become a slut again *bursts into tears*
  • Stokes has been played with like a circus lion. He’s been on a leash up forward for his whole career, now he’s broken the chain. Do you really want to be the guy getting mauled by the possessed lion in a crucial league match? He’s a lion (*man) on a mission, get on board!
  • One thing about fallen premos is this. They actually have to stop falling to have any value. Step up Buddy and Boyd. And Birchall. And Hartlett (no touchy!). AND SELWOOD! Some kind of form, no matter how slight would be much appreciated lads. I see Deledio and JPK as our only options this week. Even then I’m not convinced long term… First world problems.
  • I wouldn’t be surprised if Lower smells of Gazza’s you know what after Saturday. He saw a lot of his backside and got completely shat on.
  • There is one man like no other. He can do things that no one else can do. He can bend the ball backwards. He can even put the ball on a string. Some say he’s a shadow of his father, Swan says “I am your father”. All I know is that, he’s Bald Jesus. (That was quite a deep reference, so kudos to those who catch on).

This game sh*ts me

Late withdrawals. Seriously they sh*t me through the roof. If you know a player is injured, just name them. Please. DO NOT suggest a rolling lockout though, I’ll most likely become depressed. It’s just a part of the game. A sh*t part of the game. And that’s why this game sh*ts me. (Voss gets the minor medal for sh*tness this week.)

The other bits and pieces.

Well, where to next? I’ll just hope to the DT gods that I have no injuries in the lead up to and during the byes. There’s a thought. Byes. Start planning! It won’t take much this year, however if you find yourself out of balance then you may well be waving goodbye to your season. Continue to filter the rooks out of your team, obviously leave Vlastuin and O’Meara for last. They are jets! I had a solid score this week, notching 2157. I’ve seen a lot of monster scores around me, I suspect 2100 will be around par. Knee-jerk the frustration out of your system in the comments and look forward to a few joyful rage trades this evening! Cheers.

If you enjoyed my raging and want a hittable punching bag when sh*t goes tits up, follow me on twitter @MattCraigDT. My views are honest, mostly helpful and occasionally entertaining! Also hit me up with any suggestions for who you thought were the Legends, Losers and Clowns, plus what you’ve learnt the past week. I value everyone’s opinion!



  1. Recall

    May 20, 2013 at 5:45 am

    Moloney to Cotchin for about $50k next week will be an absolute bargain. Especially after picking up Watson this week for under $500k and Priddis last week for $400k.

    • toasted

      May 20, 2013 at 7:26 am

      CAnt argue with that. Good work

    • toasted

      May 20, 2013 at 7:30 am

      You mean Cotchin for R10? His current BE is still 144.

  2. Recall

    May 20, 2013 at 7:49 am

    Yeah for round 10 mate

  3. johnny

    May 20, 2013 at 7:56 am

    Big question: Thurlow or Ellis??? Trading out pittard for one of them

  4. DoubleA

    May 20, 2013 at 7:56 am

    No real complaints this weekend. Scored 2253 which ranked 570-odd overall, so very happy with that. Mildly disappointed with Danger’s 77, and was hoping Dusty would knock out a big score (although I’ll take 90 from him each week without too much complaint). But big scores for Vlas and Terlich helped. Plus win of the week for me having SJ in the forwards but Dwyer as my emergency.

    My only minor burn was I was millimeters from bringing Ellis in this week and opted for Goodes instead (and either way, I offloaded Hartlett in the process so that helps).

    • DoubleA

      May 20, 2013 at 7:58 am

      Oh and good article Matt. J Watson looks set to be a bargain this week I think. Most likely bringing him in as an upgrade from M Jones.

  5. discomute

    May 20, 2013 at 8:10 am

    Let me guess: you did not watch the Friday night came but saw a 10 second replay of the free kick that lead to the final goal

    Kangaroos fans had a hell of a lot more to complain about in the last 10 minutes than that. Touched off the boot when it wasn’t, play on when it wasn’t advantage, and every 50/50 going to the eagles and not to the roos. The crowd umpired the final 10 minutes.

    Also – tackled in the head? You mean ‘arm grazed the top of the shoulder’

    • Recall

      May 20, 2013 at 8:25 am

      Try watching the game with both eyes. Selwoods tactic of driving hos head into the arm is poor ethically but by the letter of the law it’s a free kick everyday. Supporters that blame the umpires shouldn’t be allowed to speak publicly. If your first to the footy it’s near impossible to give a free kick away.

      • Gary

        May 20, 2013 at 8:37 am

        I’m finding it hard to find sympathy for the Kangaroo’s.
        We watched the Kanga’s vs Power game a few weeks ago. We were all laughing out loud each time the Kanga’s got another free kick and incidents against the Power were ignored. What was the disparity that day??? 35 to 15 I think. Kanga’s only won by 10 points.

        The NM supporters that day simply defended the free kick count as one of those days.

        And I’m a Crows supporter.

      • Stuart


        May 20, 2013 at 8:38 am

        “If your first to the footy it’s near impossible to give a free kick away” unless you hit someone in the legs!

        • Recall

          May 20, 2013 at 9:39 am

          Hence the word near mate.

          • Stuart


            May 20, 2013 at 11:26 am

            I still wouldn’t say it’s near impossible these days.

    • D Day

      May 20, 2013 at 2:33 pm

      Fact of the matter is Selwood was tackled above the shoulder. Letter to the law is that is a free kick for high. No ifs, not buts. Not sure if you’re aware but a game of AFL is won and lost over 100s of key moments. Not just the key moments in the last 5 or 10 minutes of the game. People seem to quickly forget that (I think it was) Petrie had a set shot on goal from about 45m out, slight angle, which would have won them the game, but he stunk it up and didnt even register a score (or might have got a point). Dont hear any NM supporters having a whinge about that do we?

      • discomute

        May 21, 2013 at 7:58 am

        Amazing that everyone is responding to my comment arguing the selwood free kick.

        So many worse decisions than that

      • Dean

        May 21, 2013 at 8:55 am

        +1 D Day

  6. Ghost

    May 20, 2013 at 9:03 am

    Although some of the calls were obviously dubious, I have no sympathy for the roo’s. They have proven time and time again they are bottlers. The Eagles could have easily had the game done and dusted had they kicked straight.

    Even in the final play the engineered their own downfall. Waste time? No I’ll kick it to a pack! Shut down the best leap on the field? No! We shall let him have a nice big run up!

    At least the Selwoods are hard nuts where as Lyndsay Thomas is a disgrace to the game.

    • cookiemon72

      May 20, 2013 at 9:49 am

      Who do you play for ghost?
      Captain of the DIK Eaters I would say
      You can’t even spell Lindsay

      • Ghost

        May 20, 2013 at 10:08 am

        I don’t care for spelling checks on forum boards. I say what I have to say. Yes I’m an Eagles supporter but that makes no difference on my opinion that North can’t seal the deal. The proof is there, time after time, year after year. How many games have they lost this season by less then 10 points and also having the lead?

        Sure we get decisions at home, but then Melbourne teams don’t have to fly to the other side of the country every second week. Swings and roundabouts.

        • cookiemon72

          May 20, 2013 at 10:29 am

          Nice story Ghost
          I also say what I have to say and I say you are a cockjaw
          You are a disgrace to this site

          • Ghost

            May 20, 2013 at 10:58 am

            It was a pleasure to get you’re little pink pantie’s in a twist. I think it might be time for you to brush you’re tooth now.

        • unceramonius

          May 20, 2013 at 6:56 pm

          You talk out of your ass. Eagles always get the bogus calls in games, afl gets such a hard on for them. Ooooooh letter of the law free huh, but lets ignore all the other so called letter of the law frees the kangas way? Pathetic, eagles are the biggest cheats around, simply duck your head like your in your boyfriends room and get the free. Anyone else does it, oooh you droped your head no free. Fuk off.

          Afl are desperately trying so hard to get them to the grand final so they can sell tourism packages, and travel fairs. EVERY eagles game has some of the most wtf moments in history. Judd 50 metres last year, glass holding walker in the goal square year before. 6 ruck infringements in a row against the cats last year, expect the dubious for the cheats.

          Also why no mention how kenndedy can play on miss, and have it called back to get the goal? Why can priddus get away with blatantly holding the man? The geish is on their payroll, you eagle fans are blind fuks.

          Cheat to win, thats the eagles.

          • unceramonius

            May 20, 2013 at 6:58 pm

            Also if lindsay thomas stages for a free, he is lamented on all tv shows. If a forward like buddy stages hands in the back and looks like he got snipped from the crowd he is ridiculed. But if a shuey slips on the bananna peel in the 50 or selwood ducks his head its CLEVER!!!! lololololololol rightio cheats

            If its a free to the cheats, its a free for everyone else, but it isnt. Gee wonder why. Umps for the brownlow, best on field in all the eagles wins

          • D Day

            May 21, 2013 at 10:39 am

            haha you are an A grade moron. Free kicks for for all WCE games so far have been: 20-25(WCE), 23-23(even), 18-20(WCE), 22-18(WCE), 18-14(Port), 24-11(WCE), 22-24(Bris), 21-17(WCE). So as you can see most of the games have been very close in the free kick count, bar the bulldogs. If you’re going to go on about the free kicks then what about the NM v PA game when NM won the free kick count 38-15!? That is a MASSIVE difference, but you dont see PA supporters on here ranting and raving about it. The AFL doesnt do WA teams any favours, or else we would play more games at Patersons each year instead of having to travel interstate every second week. Imagine the butthurt if Pies/Hawks/Blues had to travel interstate every second week!? Umpires miss calls in every single game, so if you want to sit and dwell on a few that go WCE way then fine, it doesnt effect me, but it cant be good for your health being a sour, old, bariatric prick.

  7. Luke

    May 20, 2013 at 9:14 am

    HELP!! Which two should I get rid of, out of WINES, NEADE AND MAYES???? All have pretty high breakevens…

    • Ghost

      May 20, 2013 at 9:25 am

      Neade or Mayes. At least Wines job security is there and he’s capable of scoring. Neade to Buddy would be a popular trade this week.

      • Luke

        May 20, 2013 at 9:29 am

        Thanks mate

  8. bomber_tom

    May 20, 2013 at 9:30 am

    Is it too late to get Nick Riewoldt??

    • The Chosen Won

      May 20, 2013 at 9:54 am


  9. bomber_tom

    May 20, 2013 at 9:35 am

    Buddy or Riewoldt in for Mayes?

    • Jay

      May 20, 2013 at 10:55 am

      St Nick is on fire!! I am tempted to go Riewoldt over Franklin

      • Jay

        May 20, 2013 at 10:58 am

        I’d even tempted to go Roughead over those 2 – with his new role at the Hawks through the Midfield, he’s carving up the points…at 453k – value for money!

    • Jeff

      May 20, 2013 at 11:04 am

      Nick will get you more points I reckon. Buddy is a freak but Nick tries harder. I traded in Riewoldt about 4 weeks ago, best thing I have done this dt season (because he was pretty unique dt player at the time).

  10. Zac

    May 20, 2013 at 9:51 am

    Anyone know how long Stevie J is out for?

    • bomber_tom

      May 20, 2013 at 9:59 am

      Hopefully back this week.

  11. Jay

    May 20, 2013 at 10:53 am

    Hartlett out -> JPK in (Vlastuin back into DEF), was thinking Jobe Watson this week, but considering my Midfield already has Swan, Ablett, Murphy, Dangerfield, O’Meara – bringing in another “R13 bye” premium may come back to haunt me in 2/3 weeks….JPK is on fire and under 500k – he is a gun!!
    Mayes out -> Staker/Spangher in….Not a fan on bringing 1 gamers into the side but not many good FWD downgrade options. Leaning towards Staker slightly due to the DPP eligibility, but not overly convinced on either?! Comments/Suggestions, please?

    • Ghost

      May 20, 2013 at 11:01 am

      There is not a lot out there. The only decent downgrades I can see seem to be either Staker or Thurlow and the latter would really only be for cash generation.

      I’ve got JPK, he’s been good most of the season with a few minor niggles. Deledio has really picked up if you wanted another POD.

      • Jay

        May 20, 2013 at 1:24 pm

        Cheers mate! Deledio is a pretty good option, well worth considering!!

    • coxtapstoswallow

      May 20, 2013 at 2:47 pm

      go Staker because if when he isn’t injured he is def in Lions best 22. Spangers JS is an issue with such a strong Hawthorn line up

  12. coxtapstoswallow

    May 20, 2013 at 2:40 pm

    Jack Reiwoldt is the biggest piece of shit in the AFL. He obviously only plays for himself and not the team. Who else seen him fist pumping like the moron he is when he took the lead in the coleman? Then after the final siren he had bottom lip hanging out when the missed the goal rather than congradulate opposition and team mates. Hope he loses the coleman by one goal. Nahas is also a selish tosser, I’m not Richmond bashing I just believe these two players are dead set f**k wits that I’m more than glad don’t play for my club. E.A.D. Reiwoldt and Nahas!

  13. Ingoes

    May 20, 2013 at 8:29 pm

    Zac Smith 25
    Whitfield 36
    Mayes 31 (only scoring because of Steve Johnson, who I traded in this week)
    Stevenson 53
    Hartlett 59
    Dangerfield 77
    Scott Selwood 71 (who I traded in this week)

    Dwyer 104 left on the bench
    Swan 180 – as captain

    That’s why this game shits me

  14. anth80

    May 20, 2013 at 8:50 pm

    Hey guys,

    What’s a better trade

    1. Stephenson to Thurlow Neade to Stokes
    2. Stephenson to Thurlow Mayes to Stokes.
    3 Stephenson to Thurlow M.Jones or Evans to JPK or Murphy.

    • Jaseeee

      May 20, 2013 at 11:26 pm

      Number 3 for sure

    • D Day

      May 21, 2013 at 10:41 am

      Disagree with Jaseee. I think 1 or 2 is better. Neade and Mayes will leak money.

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