The Sunday evening knee-jerk. Round 13 edition
The last MBR…. get your knives out and vent in here… its knee-jerk time!
Alrighty then… the byes have been dispensed with! You could think of the season as a freeway and you were driving along happily. The car was serviced and packed meticulously. The first part of the trip was smooth, everybody was happy until we hit a traffic jam in the middle… it was gridlock as everybody stopped to have a look at the carnage, there was an overturned truck, boxes all over the road and duck eggs everywhere, the kids were fighting in the back.. Are we there yet? Are we there yet? The car was starting to overheat… Finally we get through the mess and have open road again, you look in the rear-view mirror to see the sh*t you have just been through then look ahead and plant the foot….. But, do you have any petrol left? It took so many trades to get through the crap most will be lucky to have a quarter of a tank left to get to the end. How you looking for trades? And more importantly how are you looking this week?.. Let’s knee-jerk.
First off, special mentions to Watson (101) who fought off a tight tag valiantly, Waters (126) who slightly made amends for last weeks donut and the two r’s Redden (125) and Rockliff (141) for finally performing together on the same day. But this weeks legend is all based on timing. Lets be honest, this year timing has killed us. When we needed somebody to play, they didn’t, when we needed a downgrade option, there were none, when we needed one, there were 6. All was rubbish up until the man with the perfect timing. This weeks legend Dayne Zorko (120), the nuggety little magician came along when we needed him most. Well if i’m greedy ill say he came 2 weeks early but i’ll take it. Honestly in our times of need over the MBR’s to have a base priced player come on and average 92 was a stroke of pure genius on his behalf. He may even have coaches re jigging their trade options as we speak, could he stay on the ground as F7? Time will tell on that one but lets just bask now in the glory of our Multi bye hero Zorko the great.
The Sunday Chop
All any DT coach ever asks for is consistency. I’m pretty sure if at the start of the year you were given the option of player a: who never score’s a single ton but averages 95 verses player b: who scores 6 tons but averages 85 you take player A every time. There is nothing better than a player you can set and forget…. You buy, put them in and not have to worry, because you know there is an 85-100 score coming week in week out. Player A is your Grant Birchall type. … Player B however is your Paul Duffield… 120 one week… 65 the next… Who needs that kind of stress? Which brings me to this week’s chop. Paul Duffield has been about as predictable as the direction of a post sex piss. One second straight…one second at right angles on the floor. You put up with this phenomenon because you have just had something good… really good…But why should we put up with Duffmans piss on the floor scores??? What have we ever received that was good? A couple of 100s 5 weeks ago???. Not enough. So now he can’t even get a game…I’m Standing at the toilet and nothing is even coming out! I’d actually even take a bit on the floor at this moment. OK so let’s take a look at why he can’t get a game. On the scale of hardness you have day old porridge stuck on the side of the bowl at the very hard end… then Duffield at the very soft end. At his best he is always in space getting the loose ball and distributing at will. But in today’s game with the press he is never afforded such room. We all know what kind of game Lyon likes to play and it just seems Duffman doesn’t play that game, he only runs one way and it’s never to defend. It’s a chop from me.
*it must be said as a footballer I was one rung past duff on the softness scale, I mean no disrespect, its purely a DT issue.
First clown is Luke Nolan for nearly giving half of Australia a heart attack at 12.45 last night. Hey mate, see that little stick like thing in your hand? its a whip.. after 1000 years or so of equine research it has become common knowledge that a whip placed on the rear section of a horse will make it run faster… next time give it a try! Well done to Nelly, she deserves all the accolades she gets, but arrogant riding nearly cost us Aussies an embarrassing miss in front of the enemy! Clown number 2 is Jesse Crichton (32) for busting out the 80s Dermie style hair cut, its a shocker! Rob Brough from family feud and a judge in full wig would be saying.. gee that’s some hair! Next Clown is channel 7. They have been getting a terrible pasting for the coverage this year and i’m not going to go on about the dodgy camera angles and all…. but what i do want to complain about is the coach view camera. I mean who really cares what the coach is looking like? So many times in a coverage they replay the coach hitting a desk or sighing…. when the play is on! We are missing game time action while they replay a coach trying not to be seen behind a reflective glass. Leave it out boys.. the game is what we want to see… show it to us. I could call Boyd (70) a clown but i wont… he has served us well this year and is allowed an off week… i just wish it wasn’t when he was captain. Giles (48) has played his last game for my side however.
The this game sh*ts me
Nobody likes to rake over past hurtful moments; it’s easier to just look forward in life. But as any shrink will tell you, wallpapering over the cracks won’t help anything, you need to get it all out and suffer a bit of emotional pain then move on cleansed. So with that being said I’m about to lie back on the couch and bare my pain for all to see… to hopefully learn from it and move on a better person. Here goes…. When I was a little boy, I……. nah I wouldn’t do that to you! This is more serious, it’s DT! I looked at my Rd 1 team the other day and thought. Gee that’s pretty good, not many howlers in there but there was one area that stood out… one cluster F**k of players and trades that have really hurt. They are all in the backs. It all started with Broughton and Golby. I fell for the purple trap and followed the crowd into trading Broughts after a few poor rounds, whom I turned into Malceski. Then two weeks later I grew tired of Golby who I turned into Duffield. At the time all seemed ok, I had a backline full of proven performers and the ins were outperforming or at least levelling the outs but since then tragedy has struck! Malceski has gone on to average 70 and be dropped from Sydney, Duffield has averaged 76 and has also been dropped… both seem unlikely to be back any time soon. The traded out players Broughton av 87 and Golby av 74 continue to rub my nose in it, they have obviously outperformed them and crucially are STILL PLAYING. Let’s be honest here… this has been one all time f**k up. I don’t even dare do the sums to see how many points I’ve lost. So I’ve now had to trade Malceski to Goddard and Duffield to Shaw. I could have had a 2 player average of 161; instead I had an average of 146 AND now lost 4 trades in the process. Phew, that feels better, I’ve got that out. Will I learn from it? No… and that’s why Dream Team shi*s me. (Next week the shrink will dedicate and hour to Ryan Hargrave) Any other trade howlers you’d like to own up to out there?
The other bits and pieces
I’ve been thinking about the positives gained from this MBR debacle. I’m usually a glass half full kind of guy so I always try to find a positive from any situation. When my car got stolen I knew I was supposed to be upset, but I couldn’t escape the happy feeling that I could by a new car! Is that glass half full or what!? Anyway the only positive I could find from enduring the multi bye rounds has been the desensitisation of the donut. I reckon the stigma of having a donut has nearly gone. Remember at the start of the year… If you were going to take a donut all hell would break loose! You would trade off an arm to stop it from happening, having a donut in your side was the worst imaginable thing. Fast forward to now, we have just endured times when we may have had 4-5-6 or even more donuts at any one time! If anything it has shown us that it isn’t really that bad… it’s just a small number. DT life goes on after a zero (or multiple zeros). So after enduring multiple donuts I’m fairly sure you could take one next week or the week after and not even give a sh*t. You could almost be happy only seeing one donut in your side! After all it beats having 5.
Special mention to meticulous planner my mate the mail man who texted me this ripper on Friday morning; I’ve got 9 donuts before trading, lucky I planned for the byes! The MBR’s, they were a bitch.
So that’s about it for this week, how is your mental sanity? I know a lot of people have lost interest over the MBRs but its time to check back in. Got anything to vent? any legends, clowns or trade howlers to share? Get them out here! Personally my score is looking worse than Grant Hackett’s apartment after a few beers. I think i’ll end up in the mid 1500s, how about you?
Hit me up with any thoughts on twitter @adzman78