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The Sunday arv knee-jerk. Round 5 edition

Right now my Dreamteam feels like a girlfriend and it’s ‘that’ time of the month…I’m doing a lot of giving, a lot of sucking up and helping out but all I’m getting back in return is shit and abuse…. Ready to vent? get knee-jerking!


The Sunday arv knee-jerk. Round 5 edition

Right now my Dreamteam feels like a girlfriend and it’s ‘that’ time of the month…I’m doing a lot of giving, a lot of sucking up and helping out but all I’m getting back in return is sh*t and abuse (Birchall, Hargrave, Malceski, Smith, Porpus……..). It seems like no matter what I do it’s not the right answer, so I just have to walk on egg shells for a couple of weeks til the tornado passes over. It’s been a long week; there were 2 types of players this week… Those with Swan captain… And the unhappy ones. Those Swan people had five whole days to bask in that glory! While the unhappy ones had 5 days to try and find a player who could match it or minimise the damage while trying to stay firm and hold onto Ablett. So how did you fare? Was it all downhill from Wednesday or have you had a pearler? Let’s knee-jerk!

The Legend.

Obviously legend number one is Dane Swan; He put down the KFC for a few minutes to pump out a 171 which is no mean feat with greasy KFC fingers. He has been a must have fantasy player for a few years now but the doubters were starting to line up this season. There was the slow start last year… his podgy stature, rumours of a dislike for the coach and a poor first up game all of which had some people doubting his must have status. Personally I reckon he’s that good he just plays when he wants to now, he’s always out there laughing and joking, doesn’t seem to take it very seriously. If the game doesn’t mean a lot he doesn’t really turn up but when it does. I.E. ANZAC day… he comes to play! Can you really have a player who doesn’t get serious 100% of the time? Well 171pts probably says that you can… even his ‘off’ days are over 100. I guess it’s as you were for Swan and his band owners and more watching through the gaps in your hands for the rest of us.

 The Sunday chop.

First player getting close to a chop this week is one Matthew Kruezer (61) It’s not that he is playing badly… its just that HMAC (123) and Giles (89) are doing better, for a cheaper price. It’s probably too late to do anything about it now other than bench him and play Giles for a few weeks but i just want him to know he is on notice. Now to more pressing issues… Hmmmm ….Adzman strokes his beard and ponders wistfully…. What to do about the GWS situation? Last year we had GC and they played a similar team most of the year. Sure there were a few visits by the general but they were few and far between. This year with the GWS it seems Sheedy has a systematic plan for the resting of his kids, and it may or may not matter how well they are playing. Last week I predicted the general would visit Kennedy and he may need to be traded. But upon reflection if we go about trading every GWS kid who gets a rest we will be tradeless by round 10! We should actually be thankful that he is mainly resting them and not vesting them, because the vest would devastate their B.E and cash making abilities (ask Devon Smith).  As the OAK guy says ‘The vest is a state of weak indecision where you’re not just sitting on the bench its sitting on you and it’s laughing! …That’s how weak it is. The Vest won’t just hit the breakeven; it’ll kill the breakeven and dress inappropriately at the breakeven’s funeral.’ ….Looks like we should just be thankful they are being rested then! Thanks OAK guy for your words of wisdom.

The Clown.

I actually feel sorry for the first clown this week. I know what its like to be struggling for a game and finding the harder you try the more things go wrong….It’s John (please call me jack) Anthony. You could almost argue that his clown like traits were apparent way back when he got into a push and shove with Buddy Franklin at the pub because he took offence that buddy didn’t recognise him. It’s now been a few years since that incident and poor old Jack may well have played his last game of AFL football which will ironically take him back to not being recognised again….so he’s gone full circle! Anyhow there was a short period of the third quarter on Friday night when in the space of 5 minutes Jack had been caught holding the ball after trying to sidestep a man after a mark , he gave away a free kick for a big tackle on a man without the ball and then kicked way out on the full on a shot for goal. Ross the boss had seen enough…. i read his lips in the box, they said. ‘Fu*king get him off!’. I reckon that’s his last game of footy right there…. stuck on a measly 16 points in his last game. The other clown this week in my eyes is Andrew Raines. Last week he destroyed Abletts knee… this week he tags my other mid Joel Selwood (69) into the ground.. in the process antogonising him so much that Selwood smacks him… possibly earning himself weeks. On the bright side Raines punched back meaning he may not be around next week to perform the tri-tag of my mids… Watson could go free next week! phew.

The this game sh*ts me.

I can handle a bit of bad luck, it’s just part of the game but this year I have not been able to nail one single bench or captain call. I can handle swings and round-a-bouts but I seem to be stuck on the same old sh*tty see-saw with no one on the other end.. I’m sick to death of playing the wrong defender out of Bugg, Morris or Ellis, I’m sick of playing the wrong player out of Magner, Shiel or MacDonald and I’m definitely sick of having Giles tons warming my bench. Further still If I Choose the wrong answer out of Smith, Hall and Kennedy again ill puke! I’d nearly rather have no bench cover so I don’t have to make the choice (and butcher it). Let’s not even begin on the captains. Meh… I reckon I have lost over 600 points already just in dud bench/captain calls alone…. And that’s why Dream team sh*ts me.  (i haven’t even mentioned late omissions and clubs non transparency, that sh*ts me too much for words.)

The other bits and pieces.

I got to thinking the other day.. are there any downsides to the new reverse trading system? Well i may have found one. Back in the day you would trade and forget about it…. but now you can pretty much change your mind up until lockout…. which means a lot of us don’t fully decide until 7 pm on a Friday night after subs and teams are complete. Whats the problem here? Well most people…(most normal people) finish work on Friday and head straight for the pub… and start pounding down the jars. You may have looked at your team all week and decided you wont trade because there is no one worth picking up…. but then the alcohol kicks in late! Its just like your fridge at home…. when you are sober all week you look in it and its like.. meh.. nothing in there. But when you get home drunk you look in there and you see many possibilities! mmmm cottage cheese, plum jam and a potato!.. and you eat it.. somehow. So what about your team.. there were no possibilities during the week.. the fridge was bare.. but come Friday night you have a last look after 7 pints and things look different! mmmm Whitecross.. how did i miss him? *trade* ….So whats the moral of this (rather lame) story? Trade BEFORE the pub.

OK that’s about it for this Sunday. To be honest the West Coast v Richmond game hasn’t even finished yet but i’m done for the week.. its sickening me, i don’t even want to look at another score, let alone mine. What knee-jerk thoughts do you have  about the round just past? Any nominations for Legend, Chop, Clown or why this game sh*ts you? Vent now and get it all out before we get rational again for Tbettas bullets!

Hit me up with any thoughts/vents on twitter @adzman78






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