The Sunday Eve Knee-jerk – round 3
Forrest Gump once famously said “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get” …I always thought that was a bit of a flawed statement, all you have to do is look at the little picture inside the lid, it tells you exactly what you’re going to get.. But I digress; I have a little quote of my own that relates to Dreamteam; ‘Dreamteam is like a baby’s nappy, sooner or later you’re going to get some shit’
The Sunday eve knee-jerk. Round 3 edition
Forrest Gump once famously said “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get” …I always thought that was a bit of a flawed statement, all you have to do is look at the little picture inside the lid, it tells you exactly what you’re going to get.. But I digress; I have a little quote of my own that relates to Dreamteam; ‘Dreamteam is like a baby’s nappy, sooner or later you’re going to get some sh*t’. DT is a beast of a game…. Like playing Uno, you can be flying high one minute but your only one draw four away from carnage. So how did your team go for the first round of league games? Did you waste all your good drives on the practice tee then shank the first one when it mattered? Did you cop any draw 4’s? How about a sh*tty nappy? Let’s get all that frustration and anger out of the system…It’s time to knee-jerk!
Ever wondered if it would be easier for Joel Selwood (106) to just start the game with bandages already on his head? It would definitely cut his time off the ground to a minimum, and less time being bandaged on the bench means more time diving headfirst into people’s legs and shrugducking tackles gaining +4’s. I’m nominating him for a legend award…he may not be the highest scorer in the league but for a guy to get up hit after hit and keep giving he is unsurpassed. He’s like a DT piñata; the harder you hit him the more points come out. People make mention of Sandilands (103) being must have because he can get +1s at will… well Selwood can pretty much milk a free kick at will so that’s +1, plus a kick +3… plus if it’s in front of goal maybe another 6+. It’s a fairly profitable game he is playing! Two other legends this week pretty much name themselves… Ablett (160) with his 3rd game on the trot with 40+ possessions creates some kind of record, however I thought I’d be smart and not captain him so that’s hopefully the last mention of Ablett this week. Well done to @kingo_1989 and others who captained him and rubbed it in! I guess I deserved that. Marc Murphy (139) has stepped it up another level still from last year; the thing that’s great about him is there is no fuss. He kicks the goal, no fist pump.. No look at me.. Just gets back to the centre to do it all again, that’s the sign of a player who has a higher aim.
The Sunday chop.
The purple menace from the west incurred the wrath of my axe last week; like Voldemort he shall remain nameless on this column from this moment forward. I don’t care that he scored a ton; I’m relaxed knowing I don’t have to worry each week ‘if’ the 60 will come again. The next man on the chopping block may be controversial… but it has to be Dustin Martin (64). We all thought he was invincible… the guy can don’t argue his way out of any pack, but you can’t argue with this stat… he hasn’t scored over 80 in 3 rounds! We have to remember he is still just a kid and our expectations can’t be huge, but we paid for premium and that’s what we want! A crushing chop is the one needed for Fyfe (22) going under the knife. Last season he played well with collapsible shoulders but looks like it won’t happen again this year. @crawfy95, @jezroH, @SennaBrock, @sjayren, amongst others tweeted me asking who should replace him; it will be a hot topic this week! Personally I’ll be going Robinson, the blues are the team to be on and he will never get tagged the way he butchers it! Spare a thought for @Xebradant who had just traded Crameri (106) to Fyfe (22) and Broughton (109) to Dempsey (10) ouch!! A late injury to Birchall just makes this the perfect week.. FMDT!
There are some things in life that are unavoidable…. Like me fighting with the missus over scattegories answers, but there are some things that are totally avoidable. One of these being clown like behavior. The first clown this week is Eddie McGuire and the Collingwood board for knifing the best coach in the league while he was still in his prime. Ed was so blinded by the spectre of losing his golden child Buckley… who ‘may’ have been able to coach… He pushed somebody who could coach right out the door. Collingwood look listless, they have gone over the bell curve… could Malthouse have stopped this? We will never know now but on the bright side we do get to see Buckley’s sooky face in the box now punching things with jock like anger. Clown number 2 is another coach. Ross ‘Boring as bat sh*t’ Lyon. I tell you, this guy has cornered the market on boring ugly football. It started at the swans when he was there, he took it to the saints and now he has transported it west. I can’t bear to watch another minute of it… I am boycotting Ross Lyon games until the clown like tactics end. Lastly Brian Lake takes a clown award for a stupid punch at the end of the game that will register 3 weeks.
The this game sh*ts me.
My teeth are grinding as I write this… Karmichael Hunt… The laughing stock of DT last year, has been roaming around the football field listlessly for about a year now. Essendon go up to play the ‘loose as a goose’ Suns, I think Hunt had snuck a look at my Dreamteam and noticed I had Watson (96) captain. For some unknown crazy reason he decides to actually play a proper gamer of football, in the process tagging Watson my captain and giving him a hard time. To rub it all in as I see my captains score snailing along I have to endure Ablett (160) racking up stats with his own ball in the very same game. Even as Captain Watson was watering the grass with his stomach bile and powerade mix, I could see Ablett in the background preparing for more stats to turn the screw on me just a little bit more. I thought I wouldn’t be a sheep and choose a unique captain…. And it backfired on me and that’s why Dream team sh*ts me.
The other bits and pieces.
Had a conversation on twitter with @jezroH this week about the new trading system and how trading has lost its gravity. Remember in years past?… you would sit there in front of the trades screen like it was a ticking bomb… Sweat is dripping from your brow…. Which wire to cut? The red or the blue? Time around you has nearly stopped… All you can hear is the beating of your heart… Boom boom.. Boom boom… Up raises the index finger….. Close your eyes tight.. Snip the… red wire…no blue! *snip* open one eye…. No explosion… the trade to Higgins seems to have worked! Sounds overly dramatic but that’s how important the trading system used to be, you had 24 clicks and there was no going back. But now it’s all a big joke! Like the invention of the condom … AIDS? Meh who cares.. I’ve got this .5 of a mm of latex to protect me!.. I’ll shag who and what I want! Click click click click….. Trading here there and everywhere with not a care in the world! But what if the wind changes?… what if you trade in a Presti… and the power goes out? You can’t go back to it! Just remember.. Treat the trades with the respect they deserve.
So that’s about it for this Sunday night. Sunday spuddy Sunday… A nasty round with some massive player scores mixed in with some shockers. I’ve had a bit of a mare, just cracked the 2000 with my rubbish captain choice still ringing in my ears! What knee-jerk thoughts do you have so far about the round just passed? Any nominations for Legend, Chop, Clown or why this game sh*ts you? Get it down now and purge before we get rational again in time for Tbettas bullets!
hit me up on twitter @adzman78 with any thoughts or nominations.