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Chook’s Rooks – Round 22

Western Bulldogs rookie Jason Tutt joined an exclusive club with his three goals in three kicks to start his AFL career. Normally we’d be salivating over his 122-point debut explosion, but in round 22 all we want is for our tried-and-tested kids to cover our byes. You listening, Ben Jacobs?

In the AFL, as in life, there are certain clubs that are more appealing than others. The millionaire’s club, for example, has a little more allure than the “accidentally went to work/school wearing your undies on the outside” club. On a more literal level, places like New York music club The Bowery Ballroom are infinitely more enticing than ones like the filthy dance dungeon in Amsterdam my then-boss dragged me to where the top of my head scraped on the concrete ceiling and I swear I sore all three of blood, crap and spit on the walls. There was probably piss and sweat pooling on the floor too, but I wasn’t about to hang around and find out. Apologies for the graphic example, but I’m trying to emphasise that there are clubs you’d be more than happy to join and others that you’d really rather avoid. In round 22, our AFL debutants were admitted to “clubs” on opposite ends of the spectrum. In an undies-on-the-outside moment, Collingwood first-gamer Tom Young joined countless others whose first touch in AFL footy resulted in a free-kick against when, caught in a tackle by his Brisbane opponent, he threw the ball out to a Magpie teammate on Saturday night. The flame-haired Young soon had the chance to make amends with the opportunity to join the goal-with-their-first-kick club, but his shot sailed wide. Western Bulldogs 20-year-old Jason Tutt certainly wasn’t going to pass up that chance, nailing a six-pointer with his first kick against Port on Sunday. Not content with that, he proceeded to boot goals with his second and third kicks, too, becoming just the seventh player in AFL/VFL history to do so. That’s Bowery Ballroom stuff, that is. What does it mean for your Dream Team? Not much, unfortunately. Tutt and his flat-track Bulldog mates don’t get to play Port every week, regrettably, instead facing up to top-four Hawthorn in the next round. A repeat of his 122-point performance is unlikely, then, although I’ve heard some coaches say they’re going to cover their Carlton backline byes by bringing in Tutt this week. Braver men than me, they are, but where would the DT finals be without a little bit of risk-taking. Best of luck to them. Here’s hoping they don’t join the “knocked out of the DT finals because a ballsy trade backfired” club – it’s a pretty chockers group as it is.

Three-or-more gamers

With few-to-no DT relevant forwards in the Carlton line-up, most DT coaches would’ve been licking their lips at fielding a full-strength forward line during the Blues’ bye this semi-final week. A handful of (potential) injuries or bans to popular picks like Colin Sylvia, Matthew Pavlich and Nick Riewoldt, however, means trading or bench cover is required yet again. Those going down the latter route can at least take some confidence from the outstanding form of Fremantle mid-fwd Tendai Mzungu, whose increased opportunities in the Docker midfield has resulted in some tasty scores of late, including a 92 last week following back-to-back hundreds. Hawthorn mid-fwd Isaac Smith dipped a little last week, suffering through a stagnant third term to post 75 points, but averaged slightly better than Bradman in the three before that, and will take the field for many a depleted forward line in round 23, I’m sure. The opposite is true of Melbourne flyer Jeremy Howe, who’s likely earned lifetime bans from many a DT coach after his measly 2-point effort in last week’s preliminary finals. The Blues’ bye is going to hurt most teams in defence, where Bryce Gibbs and Heath Scotland – both on track to finish the season as top-seven backs – are understandably popular picks. With teammate Nick Duigan also sidelined following his impressive 75 on Friday night, our rookie hopes rest with Nick Lower earning a recall, Paul Puoplo and Ben Jacobs boosting their round 22 scores by about 50 points or repeat performances from Cam Pederson, Danny Stanley and Dyson Heppell. While Essendon’s Heppell fell just a kick short of his fifth hundred this season, North’s Pederson and Gold Coast’s Stanley both broke through the three-figure barrier last week, no doubt tempting coaches to include them in place of Gibbs/Scotland in round 23. More could be expected of Puopolo and Jacobs, who boast respective highs of 99 and 96 this season, but it’ll take some courage to play them this week after both scored poorly last round despite avoiding the subs’ vest.

Two gamers

Let’s face it, sideways is going to be the trade of choice for just about every coach on the planet this week, but if you’ve somehow got enough trades/cover to downgrade, then the two gamers who, importantly, have yet to have been hit with a price hike are: Collingwood youngster Ben Sinclair, whose quiet third term restricted him to 68 points; Port Adelaide forward John Butcher, who should’ve pushed closer to a DT tonne with six goals but only managed 67; and Power teammate Tom Jonas, a defender, who also had just six possessions in his 26-point game.

One gamers

The AFL coaches believe they’re doing the right thing by blooding the youngsters but, at this stage of the season, us DT coaches would rather they kept them on the shelf until 2012. Another seven players had their prices next year inflated by earning selection in round 22, including the aforementioned Tutt and Young. North Melbourne midfielder Aaron Mullett played well, scored 60 points and, probably most importantly for those looking to free up cash, comes in at just $80k. The Suns introduced another three players in ruckman Tom Hickey, fwd-ruck Joel Tippett and former Geelong forward Nathan Ablett, although none of them are likely to be introduced to our DTs, while another ruckman, Ayce Cordy, found himself in the Western Bulldogs team following the coaching change there last week.



  1. GrainFedBeef

    August 24, 2011 at 6:47 am

    Riewoldt to play. That’s one less rookie that I don’t have that will not be needed on the field. Is that a triple negative comment?

    • Jezzta

      August 24, 2011 at 9:25 am

      Sounds pretty bloody positive to me.

  2. Mmmm...Donuts

    August 24, 2011 at 9:20 am

    I have 2 trades and I don’t want to go wrong!
    My options:
    1:Trade Gibbs/Scotland to any defender

    2:And trade Bartel to Mitchell or Shiels.

    I should make it into finals but if I trade Gibbs or Scotland I will be stuck with Heppel off and Pederson on.
    If Pederson gets another ton im alright!


    • Kuruki

      August 24, 2011 at 3:43 pm

      I guess it’s all risk from here. Trade in Mitchell only to have him rest next week and Bartel play would be so gutting. Not trading him and missing the final by the difference between what Bartel scored and Mitchell scored would be gutting aswell lol. I think youv’e come this far in the season you may aswell just go with your own gut feeling nobody has any idea what kind of carnage is going to strike next week, trades may be vital especially if we see guys like Franklin Swan Pendels Mitchell Cox getting a rest.

    • timb

      August 26, 2011 at 6:41 am

      I’d go Scotland/Gibbs to a defender then Heppel to Scotland/Gibbs next week making sure you get someone this week that will mean you can afford it. There’s no point getting to the final only to lose it – I think this option maximises your overall chance of winning.

  3. Ingoes

    August 24, 2011 at 10:04 am

    Not the appropriate place for this, but where is? Has shat me for ages.

    To people who say that a player scored a ‘tonne’. I realise that you think you are spelling the word correctly. You are wrong. A tonne is 1000 kilograms. It isn’t a hundred of anything. Back in the day, before the metric tonne was invented, the ton became an accepted slang term for 100 of anything in British culture.

    It bugs me because people who seem to have scant regard for the language they use otherwise go to the effort to type the second ‘n’ and the ‘e’ and they make themselves incorrect in the process.

    Yes, I am an English teacher but don’t worry, you won’t get an invoice in the mail for the lesson or anything.

    • Warnie


      August 24, 2011 at 10:55 am

      There probably couldn’t be a better place than in Chook’s article… he is good at writin’ n stuff.

      • The Unemployed

        August 24, 2011 at 11:46 am

        Ingoes : I have been on this site every work day during this whole footy season.

        I would just like to tell you that your post is the absolutely the most STUPID thing i have read all year. Mate this is a footy/DT web site, if we wanted an english lesson we would go to where I am sure that you are a regular.

        Please refrain from tainting our eyes with you rubbish about correct measurements and spelling or grammar mistakes.


        The Unemployed

        P.S. Save you lame attempt at a joke regarding my screen name. Ive heard them all before.

        • Albert Lloyd

          August 24, 2011 at 12:05 pm

          And this post is the most stupid thing I’ve ever read.

          Basically you’re saying something along the lines of

          “juz cost dis isznt a ENGlishe bORArd leTS not worry about GRammar standards Or Speling or Nuthin”

          I bet you also think it’s ok to write your as ‘UR’ and use numbers instead of letters all the time aswell.

          Give me a break.

          • Chook

            August 24, 2011 at 12:24 pm

            Bugger. I stuff that one up a fair bit, to be honest. Doesn’t seem to matter how many times people tell me that it’s ton, I still write tonne.

            Hopefully there’ll be plenty of rookie hundreds this week so I get the chance to redeem myself. I’m not being sarcastic, by the way, Ingoes. I loves me a proper bit of spelling and punctuation.

          • Albert Lloyd

            August 24, 2011 at 12:27 pm

            Here, here.

            Hang on, wait…

        • Ingoes

          August 24, 2011 at 8:09 pm

          Thank you for sharing that sight, sir. I doubt that I will become a reguler, but I will definately have a look

          • Ingoes

            August 24, 2011 at 8:10 pm

            Yeah I digs that shit too Chook

    • SlightHawk

      August 24, 2011 at 2:14 pm

      /\/\@t3 1 $eri0u$ly f1/\/k d3r iz nuf1/\/ wr0ng \/\/if /\/\y $p3lli/\/g n gr@mm3r. D3r iz @ T0/\/ne ov w@y$ i c@n sp3ll \/\/0rdz. Iv 1t $hit5 u, d@t iz ur pr0bl3/\/\ n0t /\/\in3. $|-|

    • Pettiger

      August 24, 2011 at 2:15 pm

      Yes, and is it “sore” or “saw”. Maybe Chook was sore after too long in Amsterdam.

    • knickers

      August 24, 2011 at 3:30 pm

      Funny how your attempting to correct bad english by using a slang word as an example…most of the English who used slang words “back in the day” probably couldn’t even read or write..If i can understand what a peep means it doesnt matter if he uses tonne or ton…as long as i dont get Alex Johnson mixed up with Steven Johnson this week when i trade its all good.

      • Bazza_01

        August 24, 2011 at 6:07 pm

        Love the Johnson mix up comment. Wouldn’t want to mix up your Ablett’s either :P

      • Ingoes

        August 24, 2011 at 8:17 pm

        They couldn’t read or write but you can. You are treating the use of slang and errors as the same thing, and they are not. I am totes over peeps using numbers and sms abbreviations in their writing. But there is a bloody big difference between intentional meaning making, in whatever form, and f**k ups.

        • timb

          August 26, 2011 at 6:47 am

          Who decided to spell it ‘ton’ though? The unit of measurement was spelt ‘tonne’, so why shouldn’t a slang derivative of that be spelt the same way?

  4. 44chappo

    August 24, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    I think at the end of the season there should be a poll/vote for the biggest f**khead of this site. I am gladly nominating myself as I am certain to poll a few 3’s and a couple of 2’s every so often. never any 1’s though. Anyway, below is a list of nominations for biggest f**khead (in no particular order)

    thecolonelschoice (aka the colonel, aka some scrub, aka some flog, aka a chump)
    Albert lloyd
    Sunny gazz (almost has it in the bag, sporting bet already paying out on this little puppy)
    Zoidvinciblez (or whatever the 12 year olds name is)
    Slight hawk (probably in contention with sunny gazz if you ask me)

    Other fan favourites include, but are not limited to;
    Calvinator (mostly for his “dodgy” cpt advice… geez he has copped it big time this year)
    jim cowski

    Nominate yourself below and the boys will make it happen.

    • Brappinalong

      August 24, 2011 at 2:12 pm

      Mate be original….thinking I put a list similar to this weeks ago.

      • SlightHawk

        August 24, 2011 at 2:16 pm


      • 44chappo

        August 24, 2011 at 3:00 pm

        no you didn’t

        • Phil Ken Sebben

          August 24, 2011 at 7:25 pm

          You are the biggest troll on this site dude, man you must have a f*cked up shitty life to be able to post the crap you do…

          • SlightHawk

            August 24, 2011 at 9:28 pm

            please answer him

    • Albert Lloyd

      August 24, 2011 at 2:15 pm

      please answer him

    • Pettiger

      August 24, 2011 at 2:16 pm

      By placing this posting you have my 3 votes.

      Please leave Calvin out. He does great work and nobody can be right all the time.

    • Kuruki

      August 24, 2011 at 3:52 pm

      I vote that everyone that uses this site must post a valid drivers license with photo id as an avatar. That way if i ever see some of you in the street i can kick the living shit out of you.

      Kind regards.

      Size 12 Steel cap.

      • Pettiger

        August 24, 2011 at 4:08 pm

        You wouldn’t get too many valid driver’s licences as many users appear to be 12 years old, or have an IQ of 12.

        • Albert Lloyd

          August 24, 2011 at 6:38 pm

          I have a 12 inch wang.


  5. crazymofo

    August 24, 2011 at 1:18 pm

    Great write up as usual, this week may be more important than most given that Fremantle are going to go in this week down 7 players from last week, Carlton have the bye and there is talk of Cox and Pendles being rested. FMDT

  6. fresh prince

    August 24, 2011 at 1:19 pm

    3 votes albert lloyd, 2 votes colonel , 1 vote that 12 year old

    • Albert Lloyd

      August 24, 2011 at 1:29 pm

      Capital letters please.

    • knickers

      August 24, 2011 at 3:33 pm

      3 votes Colonel, 2 votes Colonel, 1 vote Colonel.

      • Albert Lloyd

        August 24, 2011 at 3:35 pm

        Phew, I dodged a bullet there.

      • feathertopDT


        August 24, 2011 at 8:31 pm

        C. Judd 3 votes!!! Get it right brah

        Slight Hawk come at m3 brah

        • SlightHawk

          August 24, 2011 at 8:40 pm

          Feath, i’m sick of ya shit brah. Type at me one more time and see what happens

          • Phil Ken Sebben

            August 24, 2011 at 8:49 pm


  7. adzman

    August 24, 2011 at 1:50 pm

    anyone catch this?

    the current leader of DT wrote an email to the sydney swans..check it…

    “Hi Human Resources @ Sydney Swans,

    I have a bit of a unique request but I was wondering if you could pass this message onto Ryan “58” O’Keefe.

    I am currently leading AFL Dreamteam for 2011 , as I have been for 9 weeks.

    Currently, there are 2 rounds left and one of my only unique players is Ryan O’Keefe. Unfortunately he has been quite uninspiring these last couple of rounds and I was thinking that maybe if he had extra incentive on top of ‘making the finals’ – he could maybe carve out 2 huge scores to finish off the year. The extra incentive is of course getting “BRC’S Galore” over the line in order to win an FJ Cruiser (admittedly a ridiculous looking car but a win’s a win. )The key to getting a bonza of a DT score is absolutely busting his gut to lead for marks (especially the easy ones in the back pocket) as well as many tackles and a high kick to handball ratio. In addition, just racking up the posies (this requires gut running again and ablett like 1-2’s) and a few goals can help pump that score up to where I need it to be in order to win a car.

    I love the guy and he’s a great footballer but it’s safe to say – I really need him to lift for the last 2 games of the year and I guarantee I will buy him a schooner or maybe a box of Ferrero Rocher’s when I see him next – whatever tickles his fancy.

    I appreciate the time taken to read this some-what pointless email but I want to make sure I do anything I can to help my chances. Another 58 like on the weekend from ROK and you might as well stick a fork in me – I’m done.

    Kind Regards,

    No.1 (not for long)

    PS – Just an idea, but printing “Ryan “The Chief” O’Keefe is Turning a Leaf for Round 23 and 24” pamphlets and distributing across the players and off-field personnel might be just the required catalyst .”

    • The Unemployed

      August 24, 2011 at 2:06 pm

      Absolutte Gold!!!


      The Unemployed

      • Albert Lloyd

        August 24, 2011 at 2:14 pm


  8. Slappers


    August 24, 2011 at 4:01 pm

    would Ricky Petterd be a good replacement for sylvia? seeing as he plays GCS and Port?

    He got 125 against port this year already…

    • Phil Ken Sebben

      August 24, 2011 at 7:28 pm

      Actually Slappers, YES. His history shows he chops second rate opposition, which he has in the last 2 rounds…

  9. Bazza_01

    August 24, 2011 at 6:06 pm

    It’s a bit of a shame that Tutt has came at this stage of the season really. We could have done with a rookie like this a bit earlier.. Because I’m assuming he won’t really be rookie priced next year if he plays out the last two games making it 3 and a price rise. Although if he did happen to ton up again or score decently and started at sub 140 I’m sure a few would pick him up.

  10. Bonza

    August 26, 2011 at 9:01 pm

    This is gonna sound really weird, but is there any word on the fremantle rookie that has supposedly replaced sandilands for a couple of games. heard it on the news, but cant remember his name :P

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