The Knee-Jerk: Round 18
This will be the last knee jerk for a while (Adzman is off traveling). Sorry this wasn’t posted when he sent it in, we were off having beers with Chopper for his engagement party. This is a classic edition of the Knee Jerk – especially for the trade stuff. Enjoy!
Welcome to this weeks knee jerk. On the back of two 2300+ scores I’m flying into the top 1000 at the right time of the year. But looks can be deceiving, From my league mates point of view I’m flying…but I know the real truth; I’m like that NASCAR driver who misjudged the fuel needed to finish the race and looks like running out. I have planted the foot and am building as much speed up as I can get hoping its enough to let me coast over the line with the engine off. I wouldn’t mind one of those mass pile ups behind me just to make things a little bit easier. Before I lift the cup and spray the champagne lets have a look at what’s happened so far this weekend. Bare in mind it’s an early edition as I’m going to the game tonight. Only 3 games completed so far.
Sam fisher (66)
Obviously Ross Lyon isn’t a Dt’er, if he were he would realise that a lot of people swapped the gambler Shaw for the chip kick king Fisher. He was on his way to a nice ton, to go with his mates Voldt and Goddard but alas, he copped the red vest. Injury?
Brady Rawlings (37)
Speaking of Shaw replacements, Rawlings won the battle to get into some peoples teams by a nose… but today he was on the nose, big time. All we need now is for Broughton to get a lock down job and the trio will be complete.
Cooney (53) Gia (57)
These two were crucial to the dog’s mid-season revival pumping out some nice scores so it’s no coincidence that as their scores have plummeted so have the dogs fortunes. If you bought either in as a late season differential you would be bleeding today.
Sam Jacobs (99)
In a year when ruckmen have been in the DT news I reckon this guy is sliding under a few radars, he is turning into a decent DT scorer and could be a sneaky ruck choice for the remainder of this year and definitely next year. Worth watching.
Voldt (134), NDS (140), Goddard (115), Montagna (117)
As we all suspected these guys are going to fly home with the wet sail, well done to those who persevered, on the other hand if you don’t own them, and have trades…get them in! Softest of soft draws.
Drew Petrie (127)
The dish is on fire, I’d go as far as to say he has been the biggest bargain of the year, not just for the scores but for the dpp. Everybody who went through the early pain with the suspension and bye are laughing all the way to the points bank now.
He is fast writing his name into my team for next year.
Adam Goodes (150)
Is this the time? Is this the time when Goodes gets his late season arse into gear and goes at a 125 average for the rest of the season? It happens every year we just have to know when it’s going to start. I think we have our trigger.
There are loads if different kinds of traders in DT, tonight we are going to have a look at a few;
Compulsive trader – (aka trade addict) the compulsive trader has a sickness; he cannot sit idle for a week without trading. He has already run out of trades now so he knows who he is. He could have 30 trades and would still be out now. Each week it is 2,2,2,2,2,2,2,2,2 until they are gone. He may or may not live in denial and proclaim that he isn’t trading at the start of every week. Or he may just be comfortable with it, like the bum who has accepted his fate so walks around the streets with his arse hanging out swearing at kids.
Revenge trader – The revenge trader trades out a player who gave him the sh*ts for some reason, he may have a decent average and good season prospects but he trades him out to teach him a lesson. He trades on emotion, I revenge traded out Higgins this year for Syliva and I’m down on the deal big time. Revenge trades lead to ‘never again’ lists.
Drunk trader – The drunken trader goes out one night and gets drunk, he can’t sleep when he gets home so logs onto DT for a look and makes what he thinks is a decent trade. Just like when you pick up a munter when drunk…there are always regrets in the morning; the drunken trader will feel the same regrets when he logs on next time also. So now he has a headache, kebab breath and R Tarrant in his back line.
Monday Trader – The Monday trader is a vain person. He trades on Monday so he can have the best looking team just in case anybody wants to have a look or he wants to show it off. Monday Man often comes unstuck when teams are announced on Thursday or players get busted gambling on games.
Trade hoarders – The trade hoarder thinks he is better than you. When everyone is building a superior team he is looking down on you saying things like “it’s round 15 and I’ve got 18 trades left; wait to you see how good my team will be when you are out of trades” & “ I cant believe you have traded again, you will be in trouble soon, how many you got left again???” What this plonker fails to realise is a: he is now 10,000 points behind b: all his cows are leaking money each week and c: when he finally gets to use these trades the players are tired and getting injured/rested all the time. The quicker the guns are in your side the better I say!
Sideways trader – The sideways trader is a common creature. He gets blinded by the lights of a player’s big score or a player’s average score and trades a player of equal value to him in a straight swap. These players will probably go on to score the same amount of points for the year so he has gained nothing but burnt a trade.
Knee-jerk trader – The knee jerk trader sees somebody get a huge score and trades him in the next week. He is also known as the points chaser. He is usually chasing last week’s points which never come. Anyone who traded in Guerra is a knee-kerk trader.
Panic Trader – The panic trader does just that, there may be an injury close to lock out or he may be facing a one week donut so he panic trades. Usually it will only be a one week injury so he burnt a trade for nothing. The panic trader never sees the big picture, he just deals in the now.
The look ahead trader – This trader is annoying. He looks ahead 10 weeks or more planning his trading for all those weeks. He actually thinks that everything will pan out that way and there will be no injuries, suspensions or form drops to stuff up his plans. This is also the guy who posts his team and trades in the forum every five minutes asking for vindication. He is the guy that shows you his finished team 10 weeks before it’s done and asks for a rating.
Cut throat trader – The cut throat trader loves to live life on the edge…he sits there at the computer with sweat beading on his brow with 30 seconds to go before lock out. He is listening to the radio and scouring the net looking for last minute info on subs or late changes before he trades.
Insider trader – This is the guy (Collingwood Captain?) who has inside info and is not afraid to use it on occasion. Only a man with inside info would put Buddy on the bench and then wait for the rest of the world to find out he is a late omission. People often have inside info that could help you but it’s hard to decipher who knows stuff and who is a troll on the internet.
Stubborn trader – The stubborn trader won’t jump onto a bandwagon he has missed because he refuses to pay the extra cash. A lot of stubborn traders didn’t want to pay the extra to get on Fyfe late, even though their teams would be better for it – there’s no point being stubborn, get the guy who gets you the most points, irrespective of what he used to cost and what he costs now. The stubborn trader is a tight arse – don’t get into a pub shout with him.
Posthumous trader – The posthumous trader debates all week over player A v player B then finally makes the decision on player A. Player A spuds up and player B scores a big ton which prompts the posthumous trader to bang on all week about how he was going to trade him in and how unlucky he was. He may use the term FMDT a lot.
Ironic trader – The ironic trader is like that little turd I.T. guy who comes to your desk wearing a vest and bow tie who thinks he’s better than you, he’s the mod wearing the 2 sizes too small jeans and t-shirt on Brunswick St who thinks he’s better than you. These people will forgo comfort and common sense just to be different from the crowd and have some form of mental high ground. The ironic trader will never trade in the players everyone else is, he will trade in unique players, to his teams determent, just so he can say he’s not a sheep. He brings in Picken to be on the cutting edge of cool.
Any I’ve forgotten? Which one are you?
So it’s that time again when I spread myself thinner than a fat ladies bike shorts. The fantasy premier league has just opened up again for business and I’m busily doing my scouting while trying to maintain an AFL dream team at the same time. For anybody interested I have set up a league called ‘knee jerkers’ feel free to join up if you know your Lowers from your Lampards or your Duigans from your Drogbas – it gives you something to focus on during the non AFL DT months at the very least. League code is 1773-2431. But be aware I plan to win.
With all that being said the knee-jerk will be having a bit of a spell for a few weeks while I go on holidays, I hope you enjoyed having a read on a Saturday night throughout the season. Good luck getting into your finals, I hope to be back later in the year refreshed and ready to win my league.
Anything else to kneejerk out there?