The Knee-Jerk: Round 15
Last week’s trade addiction bombshell leads me onto the logical next DT issue. Everybody knows what makes DT fun. It’s trading! Wheeling and dealing, building a team of guns. It’s trying to find star players on the cheap and getting them into your team. But it begs the question- how can you keep it fun once you can’t trade anymore?
Last week’s trade addiction bombshell leads me onto the logical next DT issue. Everybody knows what makes DT fun. It’s trading! Wheeling and dealing, building a team of guns. It’s trying to find star players on the cheap and getting them into your team. But it begs the question- how can you keep it fun once you can’t trade anymore? Sure subbing players is ok…but it’s no trading! It’s like drinking non-alcohol beer instead of the real thing. Is there any point? Trading is like being single; getting out in the nightclubs and picking up every week, don’t like her anymore? Next! But when you run out of trades you are locked in with what you’ve got. Even if she doesn’t put out any more and her breath tastes funny when you kiss. It’s easy to lose the passion for your team once the trades run out, how do you keep it up?
Colin Sylvia (65)
I’ve never really trusted Colin Sylvia, I trust him about as much as somebody who wears sunglasses while they are inside. I purchased him a month ago and he has done sweet FA ever since, I know I should have seen the signs when he came out with more tape on his knee than Tutankhamen but his average blinded me. Colin, I’d like you to meet Shaun Higgins, you and he are the first two people on the ‘never ever buy again’ list. You may as well get to know each other and compare injuries; I’ll come back in a few years when you’re done.
Chris Yarran (49 at 3qtr time)
He will probably make a fool of me and pump out a 50 point last quarter but the Jeckil and Hyde nature of Yarran can’t be trusted. He can look a world beater one minute and a spud the next, that’s not DT material for mine.
Rhys Palmer (30 at H.T)
You know when you buy an item on the internet and it looks awesome but you get it home and it’s a piece of crap? I reckon that’s how GWS will be feeling at the moment after shelling out the big bucks for this guy* (*allegedly) I hope they kept the receipt!
Daniel Cross (121)
Crossy used to be an ever present in my team up until last year. I finally figured there’s not a lot of point getting the ball 35 times if you aren’t going to kick it but junk time Crossy would always come home late and pinch 100. This year he started off tagging and looked dead as a dt’er but the boy has come back into calculations. One to watch if you need to fill a mid spot with a unique.
Mitch Robinson (110 at 3qtr time)
Let’s be honest here… Old mate Mitch fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down, and he tumbles every kick he does end over end, but does any of this matter in DT? No. With the amount of stars in the Carlton midfield no team would worry about sitting on him so the result of this is that Mitch could be a sneaky differential pick in the middle of your team.
Jon Griffin (100+ at H.T and counting)
With a lot of people looking around for a new ruckman it’s ironic that the answer could lie in his direct replacement. He was a bit of a spud at Adelaide but seems to have come on as a player. If the prognosis for Sandi is bad I’d take this guy in a second, but we must be aware no matter how good he goes, he will be out the door as soon as Sandi returns, and that’s the big worry.
The fake cake.
Remember that time in the Simpson’s when Marge was making Maggies birthday cake and Homer wanted to eat the letters off it? Marge goes “Homer…I made you a fake cake to ruin”. Where does this fit in with DT you ask? Well Super coach is my fake cake. I don’t give a sh*t about it, I trade on Monday nights, I trade in speculative players, the things I do are the things I don’t have the guts to do in my DT. Super coach is my DT guinea pig. If a trade works in there, I’ll bring him into my DT a few weeks later. So Super coach does have a purpose! It’s the canary in the tomb alerting me to dangers before I risk my life (aka my DT).
In your daily DT chatting with mates it’s funny whenever somebody asks you the price of one of your premiums. You never know! I only ever know the prices of the players I want to buy or my cash cows and that’s only because I dream about the trading possibilities and funds required nightly. Owning a premium is like owning a new car, you fork out the big bucks then as soon as you take it off the show room floor it’s already lost 30% of its value, no point worrying about how much its worth, you are keeping it anyway.
I was gloating the other day showing my midfield to the mailman saying this is the best midfield I have ever assembled so early. He said he has exactly the same thing; then I came to realise that this year everybody has a top notch midfield. How did this come about? It’s because they gave us extra trades this year, which were supposed to be used to get us through the bye rounds and extra fixtures. But instead we just built a midfield of epic proportions. It’s an easy thing to do; I remember when I was a first year apprentice, it came to my first month of holidays and they gave me my holiday pay. My eyes were bulging at the wad of cash so I went straight to JB HIFI and bought a new stereo. It felt good at the time but the end of the holidays were the pits; I was eating 2 minute noodles just to survive. I can already see myself eating noodles towards the end of this DT season too because I burnt my wad too early on a midfield stereo.
Of all the annoying things that can happen to you in DT there is one that particularly riles me. If you are unlucky enough near the end of the year to run out of trades but still have money in the bank it is right up there in the annoying stakes. Each time you log on that money just stares you in the face…mocking you as you wonder what might have been, as you remember all the times you scrimped on a player and got a cheaper one. It’s not that hard for this to happen to you either. All it takes is for you to have a bit of money stashed away for a final upgrade then for your last two trades to go on Premium LTI’s who need no money to swap. The money just sits in there like your keys after you’ve locked them in the car – you can see them but you can’t use them and it’s the worst!
Well that’s it for this week, had to cut short the player news because I have to get out early to go watch the Bombers get mauled by the Cats (hope I’m wrong)
Any other thoughts out there?