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The Knee-jerk: Round 13

All things were happy in my DT world; I’d been riding hard on the back of a green arrow thanks to a pair of 2200+’s and a pair of 2100+s. I’d slashed my ranking from a disappointing 10000 to a manageable 2000 and the team looked solid enough to continue its upward trajectory while the fly by nighters were going the other way.

All things were happy in my DT world; I’d been riding hard on the back of a green arrow thanks to a pair of 2200+’s and a pair of 2100+s. I’d slashed my ranking from a disappointing 10000 to a manageable 2000 and the team looked solid enough to continue its upward trajectory while the fly by nighters were going the other way. But then the black cloud came; and no it wasn’t the ash cloud from Chile, it’s was the Collingwood bye/Jelwood suspension/Smith soreness that forced everyone to put forward a skeleton staff this week. I just hoped my skeletons were tougher than your skeletons. Well as I write this I’m on the edge of rage. Bartel gone, Voldt, as good as gone, Deledio, spudding. I’m not watching anymore; it’s like watching your own personal car crash from above…..stuff it. I’m going to watch kung fu panda instead.

Shockers

Nick Riewoldt

I’ve always wondered why pigeons even have wings; they spend their whole days just walking around. Even if you are about to hit one with a car they will just try and walk out of the way a bit faster. At the last second they are like OK, I’ll fly! And flap a few times just to save their lives. This reminds me of Voldt this year. He has the ability to fly over anyone but just seems to be walking around with the crumbers and tiprats of the footy world. C’mon Voldt Fly! Save your DT career!

Matthew Boyd (70)

There are some classics that never grow old. Like putting the bit of tan bark in the taps at school and watching the nerd get a wet face when he goes for a drink. But there are classics that get old very quickly, like the premium spudding up the week he gets bought. Sorry about that everyone, it was probably my fault for bringing him in.

Chris Knights (20)

Knights is annoying me right now, he is going so bad that if he was playing in my front yard I’d shut the curtains and turn the sprinkler on. C’mon mate, a migraine??? Plough through! Dipper played with a punctured lung for three quarters!

Bandwagoners

Sam Mitchell (132)

It’s awesome when you see a champion come back from the brink of rubbishness to show who they really are. It’s happened many times to George Foreman, it happened to Harold on Neighbours, happens to John Farnham just before each farewell tour and now after a flat patch its happened to Sam. Make no mistake, the boy is back, if you sold you are a chump!

Other news.

The serious finger.

These days we are all so in tune with our I-phones and computers that they are like an extension of our bodies. Have you ever just sat there and watched somebody at a computer? Their eyes dart from side to side in some kind of trance state as their hand moves the mouse about and clicks merrily in what seems like an involuntary action. The clicking finger doesn’t even leave the mouse; it just taps and double taps like natural. But there is a time when it’s different; there is a time when serious finger comes out… Serious finger is when the index finger raises up off the mouse, pauses for a bit then slams down on the button like a judge’s hammer. Serious finger always comes out when you make a trade. After checking, double checking and triple checking the player screen your finger comes up, you brace your body…am I doing the right trade? Will this hurt? Then down slams the finger…done! Made a trade. I’ve only ever seen serious finger 3 times…its come out when making an eBay bid, when confirming a flight on Jetstar and when making a trade.

The green lantern:

Every league has one, or maybe even two. You know the guy…. any time you log on, day or night who has the green light on next to his name. This addict must have it baaaad. Our leagues green lantern has it real bad. He has been known to email the English premier league fantasy sports people asking why he didn’t get his assist points because the ball grazed the back of his players arse on the way to the goals. At least now with the addition of the green light we know who the real tragics are…and who the liars are who tell us they spend no time at all on their teams. Oh well, I’d rather a green lantern than a ghost ship.

All about the look:

The mind of the DT’er works in weird ways. At the moment I have one spot left to finish my midfield, on a count of this I have one spot being filled by a forward MPP. Now I know it means absolutely nothing but I spend time toggling between the forward options trying to find which player will make my midfield look the best. I usually end up using Fyfe because he is averaging 100 and it makes Mitchell come in as my last (therefore worst) midfielder. I don’t even know why it matters! Why can’t I just sit Mzungu there? Because it looks sh*t that’s why! The midfield is my sitting room, and I want all my best furniture there….the crappy old chair with the rip in it can stay in the back room. This is also the exact reason why people midweek trade, there’s no other reason apart from making their teams look their best.

The poison position:

I reckon every year every team has one position that is like a thorn in your side. But It just has to be ignored no matter how bad it gets, don’t get sucked into a trade frenzy to fix it because it’s a black hole that will eat trades for breakfast. Last year my poison position was the number 2 ruck. It started with Clarke who spudded up being turned into Seaby (shudder) who stunk up, got injured then turned into Kruezer. Nuff said; that spot was a right off. This year the poison spot has got me again… Started with Krakouer, turned into Higgins who played once, got injured then spudded up, he turned into Sylvia who got injured week one.  I’m not touching this position again. Poison!

Well that’s it, no use beating around the bush – its carnage out there. Any knee jerks to share?

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