The Knee Jerk: Round 9
Welcome to the round 9 knee jerk. It comes this week at a time when my DT ship has finally righted itself after negotiating some stormy weather. I feel like Rocky Balboa in Moscow fighting Ivan Drago. I’ve taken all his punches in the middle rounds and I’m still standing. Now it’s my time to come out swinging, it’s Stallions time.
Welcome to the round 9 knee jerk. It comes this week at a time when my DT ship has finally righted itself after negotiating some stormy weather. I feel like Rocky Balboa in Moscow fighting Ivan Drago. I’ve taken all his punches in the middle rounds and I’m still standing. Now it’s my time to come out swinging, it’s Stallions time. I’ll probably come out of it with brain damage, but I’ll beat the dirty Ruskis. Who do you reckon would win out of a fight between Rocky and Mr Miyagi? Rocky is all muscle but Miyagi is a thinker… that night he scaled the fence to beat up on Johnny Lawrence and his Cobra mates when they were bullying Daniel son takes it for me. Miyagi for the win.
Chris Yarran (53)
A lot of things about the youth these days I don’t get. Planking is one…when we were young we used to do fun stuff like push over sleeping cows and burgle cars*, but people are so lazy now that lying down is fun. For the past 30 years I have been planking in bed every night and I never knew it was cool. Anyway Yarran may as well have been planking out on the ground last night, he was rubbish. Somebody has to tell him that sometimes in football you have a man play on you, when that happens you still have to try.
*I never actually burgled any cars apart from my mums, but that was only once to drive through the bottle shop to get beer when we had no i.d, this was in the past and ive repaid my debt to society.
Nick Dal Santo (61)
It was the turn around game for the saints today where everybody in their team stepped it up, everybody except for Nick Dal Santo. He has been having a stellar season so I guess a week off is ok, but he would want to watch his back, its trading season!
Brent Stanton (69)
Once a premium Stanton seems to have the weight of the world on his shoulders at the moment. It can’t help having a bonehead element of the bomber fans booing their own player, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him ask for a trade at years end – but he’d better play better than he did tonight if wants to be worth more than a half chewed Mars bar on the trade table.
Paddy Ryder (58)
Ryder was being touted pre-season as a Smokey ruck premium pick and the guy has all the tools to be that. It just seems with the inclusion of Bellchambers in the bombers side he has lost his sense of position and purpose. He just seems listless and disinterested. If you still own him jump ship now!
Tom Rockliff (59)
Subbed out early to the annoyance of all his owners but I suppose he was due a poor game. With the hot and cold form of Redden as well the much vaunted Brisbane r’s midfield is faltering of late.
Joel Selwood (122)
If there was any doubt that this guy wasn’t the future of DT is has all but been erased this season, the guy is a freak. With the amount of free kicks he wins he must be a huge shout for the Brownlow also, he is under the umpire’s noses all game. If you want a solid gold, consistent scoring untaggable player and can’t afford Boyd or Swan. This is your man. We just have to hope the media hysteria about the free kicks doesn’t turn the umpires against him.
Heath Scotland (128)
In an area on the ground where we are struggling to find any scores or consistency Scotland gives us an option. Most will be unwilling to buy him as they already have Gibbs but if you want a player in your backs to score you 90+ every week this is your wagon to jump on.
Michael Evans (112)
First gamer Evans scored great in his first game but to me this wreaks of Muston/Gysberts all over again. I don’t care if he tons up next week… this is a huge sucker job.
The Saints guns
Joey (151), Voldt (134) and BJ (122) were back with a bang this week but are they back? Was it dead cat bounce or is it finally time that these guys are to become fantasy relevant again. Most of us have at least one of these guys, maybe even two or three, so we will all watch on with interest.
Drew Petrie (125)
The dish is playing bi-polar football of late, is it worth the ride? One week he dominates the next he frustrates. I’m jumping off as soon as Sandilands is fit again, my heart doesn’t need the kind of stress that Petrie provides…well done this week though mate!
Big Johnno Brown (93)
The lions talisman once again drags a team over the line off his own boot. The guy is a fantasy giant when in form; I’ll be waiting a few weeks til his first price change to see if he finds a spot in my team this year. He scored 93 first week back; imagine what he will be like when fully fit!
So I finally did it…I finally brought Dane Swan. I’ve got other far more pressing issues than my midfield; I have one dud ruckman and I have half a backline full of non-performers but I did it anyway. Effectively my house has a broken front window, a hole in the roof and a crack in the bedroom wall but I’ve just gone and bought a solid gold toilet door…but what a door! Do me proud Swanman.
I’ve never really grown up in life. When my GF asks what I’m thinking when I’m looking off into space she knows its football, I know its football, but does she know that I know that she knows its football? “Ahh nothing” I say…. But I’m not fooling anyone. When I walk down the shops and I see a person in front of me I always get this urge to take a hanger on their back…even though there is no ball in the vicinity…I still dodge the cracks when I’m walking cause I don’t want to mozz anything, and I still am the most superstitious person I know. If I see a picture of an opposition player on the way to the game that guy always dominates…I try to pretend I didn’t see him but it doesn’t work. There are two curses in DT. M0nty’s purple name game on Fan footy is one. If you log on and the purple line is under your guy; get ready for a 60. The second curse comes the week you bring a premium in. My mate Steve the plagiarist has had this curse big time lately; He traded in Redden two weeks ago and he averages 64 since, Mitchell came in last week and he scored a 60, Higgins came in 3 weeks ago and he has played once since. So whoever he brings in next is doomed. I’d love to tell you who it is to save you the pain but he wont tell me his next target. But rest assured, if your player is stinking it up its Steve’s fault.
I get called selfish for wanting to sit at home on the couch rather than go out to my GF’s friend’s birthday but I don’t see that as selfish…I see the AFL as selfish, why? Because they are so hell-bent on equalising the competition that they haven’t even thought about us poor fans. They have installed a draft and a salary cap and priority picks to try knock down the great teams and leg up the poor ones and they think I respect them for it. Well I don’t, have you ever tried to get a multi bet home lately? Ever looked at the round and tried to tip 8 for the footy tips? How about 7 or even 6? Finding a winner these days is harder than being a virgin at midnight trying to find a hole in the darkness. I’m going to have to stop betting soon, and that is a terrible thing. C’mon AFL give me the 80s with some crap and good teams, At least I’d have a few legs covered.
I can’t believe it’s not butter
There are only two things in life that are softer than Shaun Higgins; a handshake from your gay uncle Vince and the grip of the silver claw on the skill tester machine. This guy is the biggest DT tease of all time, he is the hot Thai chick sitting at the bar that you get home and find is packing a cock and balls in her kit bag. NEVER again, I don’t care if he scores one thousand pre-season points…never again.
The sacking of a coach is a harrowing experience but usually the writing had been on the wall, there are a certain set of occurrences that always transpire to pave the way for it to happen. There are two main pointers that lead to the demise of coaches and at present there are 2 coaches who have had both pointers already happen. The first pointer is when a player comes out in the media and says “blame the players not the coach”, this may or may not result in a final win for the flagging coach. Next will come the president saying “the coach has the full support of the board”. If you hear these words you better dig out your centerlink CRN sharpish. So Dean Bailey and Michael Voss have both had these two calls already…you wont need Hutchy to give you the scoop; stand by for the sackings.
So that’s about it for this week, it’s looking like being an epic scoring round. Any other knee jerks out there? Any football thoughts? Maybe you just want to try and figure out why Arnold Schwarzenegger would go anywhere near that woman in the first place, whatever it is…vent it here.