The Knee Jerk: Round 7
Ahhh Dream Team, how can I stay mad at you? Obviously I can’t. After last weeks shenanigans when I couldn’t look my DT in the eye it only took one small act for me to be besotted again. All it took was for me to log on and move my Geelong, Hawthorn and Fremantle players from the bench onto the ground. Holy Crap my team actually rocks! What an amazing difference a week makes.
Ahhh Dream Team, how can I stay mad at you? Obviously I can’t. After last weeks shenanigans when I couldn’t look my DT in the eye it only took one small act for me to be besotted again. All it took was for me to log on and move my Geelong, Hawthorn and Fremantle players from the bench onto the ground. Holy Crap my team actually rocks! What an amazing difference a week makes. Its like ‘Domestic Blitz’ heard I was dying of some disease and snuck in overnight with some people from the community to give my team a make-over. I’ve come home to see a completely different team, an awesome team! Thanks Shelly Craft and Scott Cam! *wipes tear* I don’t know what to say…….I’m speechless. But just like in those shows…you know within two weeks the house will be back to the dump it actually was with weeds growing and stuff….My new renovated team will probably do the same – better enjoy this week while it lasts.
Lance Franklin (79)
Buddy is going about as well as Demetrious chest hair sprouting out from his open necked shirt. I know I’ll get flamed for adding him to the list but he is annoying. When he is up and about he is leading up to the wings and still scoring points even when he isn’t scoring goals. But last night he didn’t lead with any conviction, he just stood there with his hand in the air making half-hearted leads. I know Port were flooding back on him but the buddy of old would be up on the wing demanding the ball. We all know Buddy is a ride, he will go cold for 3 quarters then light up with a 5 goal quarter…it’s a ride you have to be on but I want more from my premiums!
Dusty Martin (62)
Poor old dusty has had a big week….he had a massive bandwagon fill with hopeful coaches but one must remember 2nd year players bandwagons often break down without notice. Not only this but the Chuck Norris-esc jokes may have been setting him up for a fall….but to be fair, due to the way he has played so far this season he can expect tags like tonight’s from now on. Can he dominate them like Chuck would? I heard the last time somebody tried to tag Chuck Norris he scored infinity points…twice – give him the flame monty.
Rhys Palmer (49)
I have no idea what has happened to this guy, he started his career as a DT genius but he is now a shadow of that former player. Lots of coaches have given him a chance but please, if you still own him…get off…now! He is dead wood in the greatest sense of the word.
Ryan Griffen (102)
Griffen has been floating around the system for a few years now promising to be anything. Well finally he has come of age and is showing something resembling consistency. He kicks it most times he gets it, he scores goals and is stepping up to premium status. I’m sure not many will jump on this wagon when Boyd is right there next to him but if you are short of a buck….this guy isn’t a bad option.
David Mundy (108)
I know I’m slow on this one but he has finally made it…he is premium. I mentioned him in a preseason article as a Mr Dependable who never misses games but won’t score you premium scores. Well that has now been revised; Mundy is a no risk purchase. If you jump on this wagon you won’t be sharing seats with anybody, actually you’ll be able to out your feet up. Are you game?
Friday Captains Curse
Some things are guaranteed in life, tears from master chef contestants, petrol going up before the weekend and your Friday night captain bombing out for you. This week the choice was Sam Mitchell (110). Was that score enough for you considering he flew out of the blocks? At least he made triple figures; it’s not all bad considering Kane usually mauls him. In fairness I watched him closely last night and this guy is amazing. EVERY time there is a clearance and the ball is travelling off the ruckman’s hand Mitchell is ALWAYS in best position to shark it. He is the clearance king and I have more admiration for him after watching him closely last night. I chose to trade in Selwood over him this week, Hence the over analysis, so as you can imagine I was happier with Selwood effort as ‘c’.
There has always been a lot of bitching and moaning about Essendon not having a change strip. I reckon they needed to use a change strip against Gold Coast last week. They needed to wear the red, white and blue stars and stripes because they were the Harlem globetrotters against the hapless army team. Reimers was spinning the ball on his finger while another bomber was dacking Khunt. Howlett was alley-ooping to Ryder. It was just a master class. I’m not pumping Essendon tyres up here either, I fear for the GC against Collingwood and Geelong too. From now on every premium I trade in will have to play GC twice. That means you Geelong and Hawthorn!
Duck Duck Goose
Its human nature to try and squeeze every little bit out of life you can for yourself. If there’s a loophole you slip through it, if there’s a short cut you take it and if there’s a rule you bend it. As a kid I always remember being told the worst thing you can do on a footy field is duck your head, it implies you are soft and hearing footsteps. But since the AFL in their wisdom changed the rules it is now beneficial to duck your head. There is nothing more frustrating as a fan than seeing a player duck into a pack head first and get a free kick. It’s a joke and a disgrace that it’s come to this. The bending of this rule is going to get somebody seriously injured and the Geish will have blood on his hands. Please umpires; use your noggin, if a player instigates head high contact it’s their own fault…play on.
A lot of people on here get all hung up on the word keeper like it is a steadfast regimented thing. Is Curnow a keeper? Is Heppell a keeper? What is a keeper? It’s such a wishy washy thing that changes week to week that it’s crazy to lock somebody in as one. If you do a little test with two players it will prove this. If you have Goddard in the backs he is a keeper and Heppell in the mids is not a keeper. Now switch them…… Goddard in the middle is still probably a keeper, and Heppell in the backs is probably a keeper. So you have exactly the same squad but just by using DPP you have gained an extra keeper. That’s how wishy washy the whole term is. Maybe it’s best to lose the term keeper and use the term upgrade priority. Have your upgrade list with the ones making you the least points at the bottom and the most points at the top…..then upgrade from the bottom up. If you don’t get around to upgrading the guys at the top…or you didn’t have to then yes…they were a keeper.
My house My rules.
The AFL and my girlfriend have one thing in common, they are both never wrong…and even when they are wrong they are only wrong to teach me a lesson. Historically it’s been harder to get an apology out of the AFL than it was to get a ‘sorry’ out of little Johnny Howard. So when Sydney got one last week we all knew that they had royally ballsed up. Of course they went and blamed human error, so technically they weren’t wrong again but it’s about time this mob finally came out and owned up. They are rooting the game. Only they could turn a thing as simple as an interchange into something as complex as a crockenbush recipe. For one hundred years it worked…. One went off; one went on, a brilliant plan, a Swiss watch! What made it work was its simplicity. Now we have flags and note pads and who knows what else, is this necessary? The old saying ‘a camel is just a horse designed by a committee’ rings true here. Say what you want about soccer…but what makes it loved the world over is its simplicity…there are only 17 laws of the game in the entire sport. Seventeen! A quick glance at the AFL rule book tells us there are no fewer than 113! I know they are different games with different intricacies but talk about overkill. Keeping senile fossils like KB on the committee isn’t helping either. So AFL… admitting you were wrong last week was the first step – step number two will be getting rid of poxy rules like this one, the hands in the back rule, not to mention whatever you have done to the holding the ball rule. Maybe then we can go back to crying out “ballll” in the crowd and actually know what it means.
The eliminator starts this week; its just pot luck, no skill required to win this thing…but I can remember one eliminator that did require skill – the one Mike Whitney would bang on about on Gladiators. That reminds me of the times Cheeta would wrestle some poor women off the pyramid…awesome views from behind! I reckon I could have taken Vulcan in the gauntlet…he’s fat and slow…anyhow I digress – best of luck in round one this week…hope you played a ghost ship.
We live in a nanny state; there is no doubt about it. If you want proof just go to any road and stand next to a traffic light. A person will be standing there with no cars in sight waiting for a green man to tell them it’s safe to cross. People have lost the ability to judge and assess for themselves and suffer their own consequences. How did this happen? Idiots were stuffing up and looking for anyone but themselves to blame, people like Zac Dawson. Mate, its people like you that have stuffed it for the rest of us. He didn’t run into your fist, you punched him…even if it was a girly punch you did it, now stand up like a man and take your medicine. It’s just lucky you’re not DT relevant – girl punches like that should be -5 anyway.
Anyway, enough of my crap…. I can’t watch the GC v Brisbane game because it isn’t on free to air so the Knee-Jerk is in early this week.
Any other mid round knee jerks out there? Anything football related you want to vent on?