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Calvin's Captains

Calvin’s Captains – Rd. 7

Oh so here you are… “Please help Calvin! We can’t go Swan or Pendlebury this week” Oiii arrggg. I hear you my friend and don’t I feel special heading into round 7. I have some of my best work saved for you this week and you have certainly come to the right place to get you DT captain. Let’s go!


Bye Bye, Swan and Pendles

So here we go. We knew it was coming and sure enough… whoop here it is! This week, we have a huge challenge ahead of us and I believe I have it all sorted out for you. For those who are totally retarded… Swan and Pendlebury have the ‘bye’ this week, and this week you really need my help. You have certainly come to the right place. My name is Calvin, and you are here to read the greatest captain’s advice in all of the land. I have some absolute bloody rippers for us all. So let’s get amongst it!


History says “NO”

Certainly does. “No” to you Mr. Pavlich and “No” to you Mr. Mitchell. For some reason these blokes have shocking ‘history’ against their opponents this week. Matthew Pavlich plays Richmond, and although it’s hard to believe, he has only scored 1×100+ score against them in his career of 14 games, with 0x100+ scores in his last 4. Crazy I know! It’s Richmond for god’s sake Pav!

Anyway, Sam Mitchell plays Port this week and with 0x100+ scores in his last 4 against them and only 2×100+ scores in his career (13 games). Sam’s form is the only thing that might save him this week but with an average of 71 against them in his last 3, he’ll have his work cut out for him.

Turf Lovers

Good horse = good track = good DT points. Let’s hope so anyway. Joel Selwood loves playing at Skilled Stadium and has already scored 129 there this year. In fact, over Joel’s last 6 games there, his lowest score is 107 so watch for Joel to back that up again this week against the Roos.  Paul Chapman’s record is probably better. He has a lowest score of just 100 there in his last 10 games and averaged 127 there in 2010. Chappy will go ‘boom shake shake the room’ this week so look out.

Be Unique, Balls it

Tom Rockliff plays the Suns and we all know what that means. He an average of 124 in his last 3 games this year and has a lowest score of just 97 at the GABBA in his last 7 games. I’ll also add that 8 Essendon players scored 100+ scores on the Suns last week. But do you have the balls to do it?

Sandilands is another guy to consider. He has scored 3×100+ scores in his last 3 games against the Tigers and is back at the MCG for the first time in 2 years. Sandilands may just have 50pts in hit outs this week, so back the giant in if you have a pair…

Cat Attack

The Geelong boys top the list this week and here it why. Firstly, they play the Roos and should give them a little touch up at the Cattery. Paul Chapman has scored 130 and 121 in his last 2 games against them with 5×100+ scores coming in his last 6. Joel Selwood has scored 109 and 105 in his last 2 against them and is averaging 118 in his last 3 this year. But like Chappy, he has such a wicked record at Skilled he has to be up there in the top few. Then we have my old mate, Barnacle Bartel. He scored 94 in his last against them which just happened to be his worst score against them in his last 8. During those 8 games he had huge numbers like 132, 139, 145 and 146. Jimmy had 140 in his first game at Skilled this year and although he only averaged 94 there in 2010 (from 6 games) Jimmy is a must on any captain’s list.

There you have it – Calvin’s Captains without Swan and Pendlebury. Wasn’t easy I must admit, but we got there and now it’s up to those big guns on the Top 5 list there to do us proud. I dug deep for you this week guys and bloody hope we get it right.

So…  goodluck. Cause I know we will all drill wicked captains this week. If you listen to me!



  1. The Southside Way

    May 4, 2011 at 10:27 pm

    Jack Redden anyone?

    • Shane_o_85

      May 4, 2011 at 10:30 pm

      Hell’s yeah

    • Tex

      May 4, 2011 at 10:31 pm

      Yep, he’s joining my team this week :)

    • albertproudftw

      May 4, 2011 at 10:50 pm

      got him as captain this week although he does get a lot of points from tackles and if brisbane has possesion most of the time this could be down but i still think 125+ easily

  2. Tex

    May 4, 2011 at 10:31 pm

    My team is settled for this week, just tossing up two of my on-field positions…

    7th back: Stanley, Duigan, Lower or Hibberd?

    6th mid: Libba or Harris?

  3. swanlow36

    May 4, 2011 at 10:34 pm

    Very willing to trade out Voldt for Chappy, then see if Chappy outscore Voldt.

  4. Calvin


    May 4, 2011 at 10:36 pm

    Yo lets answer some questions I saw

    Cox – Averages 100 VS Ess in his last 3 and although he had 104 in his last against them, it was his only 100+ score in his career (14 games).

    You have none of my top 5 in your team = get a new team, don’t worry about your captain!

    • albertproudftw

      May 4, 2011 at 10:48 pm

      no jack redden? ive put the big C on him this week so hopefully will pay off but we will wait and see!!

      • panga

        May 5, 2011 at 2:15 am

        yep, redden came through with a nice vc 138 the other week, worthy of a C this week

  5. domo_the_eagle

    May 4, 2011 at 10:47 pm

    i think you’ve underrated rockliff here calvin :P

    infact there needs to be a gold coast factor, 30% increase in opposition DT scores.

    • albertproudftw

      May 4, 2011 at 10:51 pm


  6. The Southside Way

    May 4, 2011 at 10:58 pm

    I have money bitchez.

    Option 1: Duigan -> Enright/Adcock
    Swallow -> Redden
    This will leave me with 55k or so in the bank.

    Option 2: Duigan -> Hibberd
    Tapscott (at current price of $191,500) -> Chap the man
    This will leave me with 192k in the bank, giving me enough to upgrade Otten to Enright if he doesn’t rise like 30k this week.

    • TheColonel

      May 4, 2011 at 11:09 pm

      2+34×2-68.= your answer

      • The Southside Way

        May 4, 2011 at 11:12 pm

        I like the unnecessary complication, I like it a lot.

        • TheColonel

          May 4, 2011 at 11:14 pm

          answer: option 2.
          dont you just love cryptic questions. always leaves you guessing.

          • The Southside Way

            May 4, 2011 at 11:20 pm

            Guessing? My excellence in my intellectuality allowed me to work out the answer with no problems. BODMAS really came into play there Colonel..

          • TheColonel

            May 5, 2011 at 12:37 am

            whats the O mean. i thought is was BIMDAS… brackets indices multiply divide add subtract

  7. TheColonel

    May 4, 2011 at 11:05 pm

    had my kettle as captain last week. burnt me badly. 3rd degrees burns infact.

    • The Southside Way

      May 4, 2011 at 11:06 pm

      Didn’t overcook the chicken did it?

      • TheColonel

        May 4, 2011 at 11:12 pm

        do you cook chickens in kettles?

        • Blue boys

          May 5, 2011 at 1:31 am

          Only if you make them your captain!!! :-)

  8. swans2011

    May 4, 2011 at 11:07 pm

    Bit off topic, but for eliminator, my opponents team is blank — does that mean he hasn’t selected a team from the beginning, or that he just joined this round?

    Jelwood for Big C!

    • TheColonel

      May 4, 2011 at 11:09 pm

      means you will win

    • G-Bangers

      May 4, 2011 at 11:11 pm

      check in you league to see if he has scored at all in previous rounds on the head to head against other opponents should give you the answer you’re looking for …

      • Sully23

        May 4, 2011 at 11:57 pm

        He’s talking about eliminator, not league

  9. Nishy

    May 4, 2011 at 11:14 pm

    Damn.. in eliminator im up against a guy who’s only ranked 10k below me.. probably was above me last week but he scored 1300 last round so his weekly ranking was ridiculously low. Not cool.

    • TheColonel

      May 4, 2011 at 11:16 pm

      youll win by that and a bomb threat.

      • Nishy

        May 4, 2011 at 11:19 pm

        having a good night colonel?

        • Albert Lloyd

          May 5, 2011 at 1:45 am

          Hey Colonel

          please answer him

  10. Flying_High

    May 4, 2011 at 11:34 pm

    It’s reassuring seeing everyone rate Rocky for me. I have him but I wasn’t 100% sure he was Capt. material. With a lack of Geelong players in my team (Just Enright because I wondered how their midfield would work without Ablett) it looks like he’ll be my man.

  11. Camoflage

    May 4, 2011 at 11:47 pm

    just a quick stat:

    richmond’s opposing ruckmen have averaged 90.8 against them this season to date.
    Even with some pretty average ruckmen. (mcevoy, warnock, mccauley, wood, renouf, golstein)
    therefore SANDI WILL KILL IT THIS WEEK!!!!!!!

    • Rabbit

      May 5, 2011 at 3:38 pm

      Goldstein average? Still?

    • Avan

      May 5, 2011 at 7:42 pm

      very interesting… i was heading in the sandi direction anyway as i don’t have anyone else who’s even remotely reliable

    • Jake

      May 5, 2011 at 9:04 pm

      Sandi will absolutely kill it. I’ve got an easy match-up in my league this week, so I’m fine to go with him, but having Selwood look at me with puppy dog eyes for his first C of the year will have me contemplating til near cut-off. But Sandi for the moment.

  12. Fapmyster

    May 4, 2011 at 11:50 pm

    Does anyone know what the current magic number is?
    I’ve tried calculating it using a few different numbers from my own players but I’m getting really different values, between 3700 and 3900. The equation I’m using is:

    Magic Number = (Current Price – 0.75*Last round price)/(0.25*Last 3 round average)


    • Fapmyster

      May 5, 2011 at 12:03 am

      Ok after checking my numbers it seems that players who went up have a magic number of around 3860-3880, while those that went down have one around 3690-3710. I seem to remember somethign a couple of years ago where for players that went down in price their magic number was reduced by something around 5%, looks like that’s still in effect

    • cunyclan

      May 5, 2011 at 1:49 am

      are you trying to make my head explode.

  13. ChampsorChumps

    May 5, 2011 at 12:37 am

    Hey Calvin,

    Great article as per usual :-)

    At the moment I have Jelwood locked as Captain, but that may change to either Chappy or Sandy over the next 40 hours LOL. :-)

    Ladies and Gentlemen of DT Talk,

    I have been pondering a sideways trade over the past few days … Yes, yes, yes, I know that is against established DT logic, but 2 supposed forward studs have been absolute duds … Looking at N Riewoldt and Didak … Now, I am leaning towards trading in Fyfe for Riewoldt … My reasoning for this is that St Kilda is stinking it up big time this year and I have lost faith in Santa Claus (Saint Nick) giving me 100 points a week even though I have been behaving myself most of the time.

    Didak has at least posted a ton this year, and being a part of the Collingwood machine I get the feeling he will score more points than Riewoldt throughout the course of the year. Given the year Fyfe is currently having, and given the fact I already have Chapman, Buddy, Stevie J, Pavlova and Knights I was thinking that Fyfe would be a very handy addition to my forwards with a DPP link to Chappy if it is needed … i.e. the Freo bye given I also have Pav. :-)

    Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated. :-)

    Kind regards :-)

    • Shane_o_85

      May 5, 2011 at 1:44 am

      Im not being a hater or anything, but unless your a chick thats alot of smilies for a dude to use when chatting to another guy. Just saying.

      • panga

        May 5, 2011 at 2:10 am

        hahaha made me laugh

      • ChampsorChumps

        May 5, 2011 at 2:19 am


        I am just a jovial guy who smiles a lot in life … the only way I can convey that when writing online is via emoticons. Additionally, I am aware that both males and females participate on DT Talk … the smiles aren’t for the guys or the girls, smiling is just a natural human response.

        I am more than capable about having serious conversations about a number of topics in life, I was just trying to keep things light considering I posted the question after midnight, and it is even later now.

        I didn’t mean for my happy and jovial nature which is reflected in my use of emoticons to offend anyone in the DT Talk spectrum, least of all you Shane.

        • Shane_o_85

          May 5, 2011 at 2:36 am

          You should invent an emoticon for sarcasm because I sense an undertone here…

          I use this one :/

          But thats more for a slight annoyance-type emo.

          maybe o____O


      • OXnFOX

        May 5, 2011 at 2:23 am

        :) +1

      • ryanlimmy

        May 11, 2011 at 8:18 pm

        nice amount of smiley faces dickhead

  14. Shane_o_85

    May 5, 2011 at 2:37 am

    Calvin must be sleepy, he isn’t answering…

  15. tkol

    May 5, 2011 at 7:36 am

    Never make a ruckman captain
    Example: sandilands vs Sydney 2010.
    No mummy or seaby playing left the dominant sandi up against mike pyke… Mmmm juicy!
    Sandi scores 67.
    The end

    • Calvin


      May 5, 2011 at 7:43 am

      good call tokol – totally agree

      • Chartreuse

        May 5, 2011 at 7:48 am

        Unless you’ve used the loophole I guess and want to keep their VC score as your captain score, and COX drums out a big score! :-) Yes I kept his 121 over the Great Dane

        • tkol

          May 5, 2011 at 8:12 am


          • Goaled Finger

            May 5, 2011 at 9:36 am

            Bless you

        • Rabbit

          May 5, 2011 at 3:46 pm

          I kept Cox’s score last week and has his 140somethig in round 1. Think it’s time to send the C to the cross town rival. Only other choice is Bartel.

      • -Predator98-

        May 5, 2011 at 5:52 pm

        I traded duigan out for hibberd then otten out for enright… what do you think???

    • JungleMuffin

      May 5, 2011 at 2:03 pm

      A player scoring low against Sydney, who on earth would have seen that coming.

    • Avan

      May 5, 2011 at 7:46 pm

      Erm. So Cox a few years back when he was basically what Swan is now? Instant captain every week.

  16. Calvin


    May 5, 2011 at 7:48 am

    Mitchell Vs Port – Interesting this one as he has such poor history and in the past, “Yes” Kane usually tags the guts out of him. Will it happen this week, as Kane isn’t the Kane we know… It’s still too risky for me.

    Any more questions etc.. chuck them up here and I’ll get back to you asap or tweet me @ CalvinDT

    • tkol

      May 5, 2011 at 8:12 am

      Its just too risky changing history, although alot of people will back Mitchell in.
      IIts just safe to stay with a Cat as matchups could be..
      Selwood vs Cunnington
      Bartel vs Speight
      Chapman vs Mcmillan

      • d-man

        May 5, 2011 at 9:31 am

        i feel for the young 3 if they are the match ups, they will get a lesson

        • bartman74

          May 6, 2011 at 4:44 pm

          What about a Stevie J running amock at half forward ? A lazy five not out of the question…120+ this week. He’s my unique el capitano this week. Could also be a massive fail.

  17. Shane_o_85

    May 5, 2011 at 8:52 am

    Redden C, up against GC. If he lays 8 tackles like he’s been averaging + racks it up like the other good midfielders have against them, then a nice juicy score for me!

    • tkol

      May 5, 2011 at 9:03 am

      Signs of the changing times perhaps.
      Personally I still havent caught on to the Reddon, Rockliff and Fyfe phase, Im still stuck in the Reiwoldt, Goodes & Pavlich world.
      Good luck with it anyway Shane O

      • Shane_o_85

        May 5, 2011 at 9:32 am

        Cheers. Its probably the only great trade ive made so far. My overall ranking is rubbish, im only going for a league win, so liked the point of difference it provided against my competition. Who knows, he might die off in the latter part of the year, but ill ride the wave for now!

      • d-man

        May 5, 2011 at 9:33 am

        nor have I, I am still backing in my PPP’s (proven performing premiums)

        riewoldt cant get any worse, goodes can win a brownlow in half a season, pavlich dominates at patersons playground

      • Chartreuse

        May 5, 2011 at 10:21 am

        Goodes has scored a ton the last 4 games against the Bulldogs I think…here’s hoping the trend continues.

    • DamageInc

      May 5, 2011 at 11:29 am

      Redden for me this week to, he has more tackle in him than a charter boat. With most coach’s going Boyd Selwood and Chappy, Redden/Rockliffe should be rather unique selections. I have Selwood, Chappy and Boyd so I still hope they all smash out 120+ . Hey Calvin, what was the reason you included Rockliffe over Redden, only a fine line between them yea?

  18. Goaled Finger

    May 5, 2011 at 9:52 am

    Want a suggestion that is so far left field that is is somewhere near Cape Town? Brad Sewell.

    3 100+ scores in his last 5 v Port. 2 in his last 4 trips to Footy Park (including a 133 in 2009).

    With Mitchell likely to be tagged by Kane, Hodge still under done and likely to be at one end of the ground or the other, and the newbies coming in more outside runners than clearance players, the Hawks will look to Sewell to get in and under, lay plenty of tackles and generally make an impact through the guts.

    It is a danger game for the Hawks, but if they play as the odds dictate they should, Sewell will rack up 40 touches and lay a dozen tackles – 140+ is on the cards.

    • tkol

      May 5, 2011 at 10:09 am

      Does anyone have Sewell this year?
      2 years ago he was in the same category as Boyd, the guy we thought would explode into a DT Legened.
      Never happened to the honest Sewelly, i think he just became another Hawthorn beauty!

      • Goaled Finger

        May 5, 2011 at 10:22 am

        He is a team player, probably not great for DT output! But he has his moments of DT brilliance, tomorrow night could be one of them.

        But true, only about 7 people will have him.

      • thommo

        May 5, 2011 at 2:33 pm

        I considered Sewell but was afraid to bite, and I’m glad I stayed away. It’s such a mystery what is going on at Hawthorn of late. Jordan Lewis, Brad Sewell and Xavier Ellis were the next big things during 2008 and all have failed to deliver and often seem to tire after half time. At least Sewell is working hard under the packs this year. Maybe dodgy fitness conditioning, dodgy game plan or dodgy coach down at GLenferrie?? For mine the players still seem disinterested when other teams go hard.

  19. my blue roan

    May 5, 2011 at 10:50 am

    What about Franklin as captain?
    They play Port…
    Pros and Cons?

    • Goaled Finger

      May 5, 2011 at 11:10 am

      Pros: The Power let the Roos get the ball inside 50 about 75 times last week, if the Hawks get that much freedom Franklin will have 20 shots!

      Cons: The Hawks have a SHIT record v Port and a SHITTER record at AAMI. Port have a Jekyll and Hyde team, so two weeks of utter rubbish could be followed by the type of blinder that makes their fans wonder why they aren’t a flag threat!

      Buddy will either eat them alive or catch a cold.

      • my blue roan

        May 5, 2011 at 11:15 am

        thanks for that. (your user name made me laugh)
        so…to sum up…no one’s taliking about it cos it is too dicey. :-D

        • Goaled Finger

          May 5, 2011 at 11:20 am

          Plenty of up side IF the Hawks dominate. But there is very little in their history to suggest they’ll pump them – despite what the odds makers say.

  20. Zan

    May 5, 2011 at 10:51 am

    By the power of gray sku– I HAVE THE BALLS!!! Tom Rockliff Captain :)

    and yes I do have Chappy

  21. 7ator

    May 5, 2011 at 11:58 am

    I will either go with Jimbob or 211. Will probably be a flip of a coin decision.

  22. UmpiresRFu_ked!!

    May 5, 2011 at 12:36 pm

    Im going Foley he’s back baby!!!!!

    • Blue boys

      May 5, 2011 at 12:43 pm

      Don’t get all premature on us with Foley……….2 good scores against the Lions & Roos.
      Hardly world beating opponents!!!

      • UmpiresRFu_ked!!

        May 5, 2011 at 1:48 pm

        he’s found his groove again, you obviously traded him out ha ha

        • Blue boys

          May 5, 2011 at 3:52 pm

          Yep…..but for Curnow. Can’t be too upset with that……..
          Bet u don’t have the balls to make him Captain this week though!!! :-)

  23. Pettiger

    May 5, 2011 at 12:46 pm

    Unfortunately this Admiral does not have any Geelong guns or any of the other premiums people are mentioning.

    After many changes I have placed the big C on Fyfe. His three round average is great, but now I have made him Captain he will only score 90.

    • UmpiresRFu_ked!!

      May 5, 2011 at 2:06 pm

      no geelong guns?? your hardly and Admiral more like a cabin boy!

      • Pettiger

        May 5, 2011 at 2:08 pm

        No, Mitch Duncan is my cabin boy – I am the monkey sitting on his shoulder.

        • UmpiresRFu_ked!!

          May 5, 2011 at 2:12 pm

          lol nice one! mitch duncan is definately one for next years team imo

  24. geehee

    May 5, 2011 at 3:03 pm

    What are people’s thoughts on putting Buddy Franklin as captain? The ball could be down in the Hawks forward line a fair bit…and he does have a massive DT ceiling..

    • the big cheese

      May 5, 2011 at 3:16 pm

      will be double teamed all game so not worth the risk

  25. Zoom

    May 5, 2011 at 3:50 pm

    I have lost complete faith St Nick. I thinking Duigan to Thompson, Volt to Chappie. As Geelong have had a bye and don’t have one til finals time would anyone think this is me just being trigger happy. I realise St Kilda are stinking it up at the moment and Volts scores should improve, but how much cash would bleed? Sideways trades are a no no but surely at this stage it’s an upgrade.
    It would also gie me extra cash for further upgrades thoughout the season.

    Thoughts apperciated

  26. whizza

    May 5, 2011 at 3:52 pm

    thats sweet calvin but i don’t have any of ur top 5
    only got boyd , goodes , mundy , a swallow ,
    i am think it has to be boyd to lay it safe

    • geehee

      May 5, 2011 at 4:14 pm

      no sandliands? Fyfe as a wildcard maybe?

      • whizza

        May 5, 2011 at 4:32 pm

        i have sandi and fyfe
        but richmond are becoming a team of taggers so maybe not fyfe

        • cunyclan

          May 5, 2011 at 4:38 pm

          richmond will win this week and fyfe will get injured you heard it here first on dt talk

    • swans2011

      May 5, 2011 at 9:55 pm

      Bit risky against the Swans — teams always have less disposals against them!
      I reckon your Freo players may be the way to go — Sandi to be safe.

  27. cunyclan

    May 5, 2011 at 4:40 pm

    anyone know enrights break even this week?.

    • Jake

      May 5, 2011 at 9:09 pm


  28. Ike

    May 5, 2011 at 7:29 pm

    I think this week is the first week ever that I haven’t had one of the top 5 in CC…. hmmmm, interesting….

  29. ass2mouthcabbage

    May 5, 2011 at 8:37 pm

    Adcock as unique captain choice? thoughts?

  30. mwatto

    May 5, 2011 at 8:49 pm

    I usually ignore anything Calvin says… Looks like I’ll be doing that again this week.

  31. Pavlich29

    May 5, 2011 at 9:54 pm

    Who to put as (C) out of – Redden, Chapman or Selwood?

  32. The 19th Man

    May 5, 2011 at 10:26 pm


    What if i have none of the players he mentioned.

    possible contenders for this week are boyd, judd, mitchell, montagna and pavlich

  33. dools

    May 6, 2011 at 1:25 am

    thanks for the thought Calvin but seeing as I have none of your top 5 captains in my team and you didn’t even mention boyd or murphy this article was about as useful to me as a footybet on the suns this week. Anyone have an opinion for me?? Boyd, Murphy, Cox or Sandi as my captain this week??

    • imofm

      May 7, 2011 at 8:27 pm

      couldn’t agree with you more…i only have myself to blame for following this ego-fueled f**k head

  34. laine

    May 6, 2011 at 11:56 am

    I was just about to slap jelwood or chapman with the captaincy role this week.. until i saw the weather report for the game.. shower or two. Devo… What do people think? Still go with a cat?

  35. sandman

    May 7, 2011 at 12:47 pm

    took a punt this week, putting the C on simon black. hope it pays off

  36. imofm

    May 7, 2011 at 8:21 pm

    calvin, you f’n ladies dick!!! youknow what free advice is worth…minus a gazillion points! give it up shityhead

  37. SgetOuttaHere

    May 8, 2011 at 1:08 pm

    Calvin I seriously think you’ve got it wrong EVERY week so far…..

  38. ryanlimmy

    May 11, 2011 at 8:17 pm

    calvin you f**khead, your so wrong

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