Connect with us

The Game

The Knee-Jerk: Round 4

The round 4 knee-jerk comes at the end of a week full of apologies. We have had Jack Riewoldt apologising for being a tool, Moloney apologising for being a drunken tool, and Ross Lyon apologising for being a coach of tools. But for mine the guy who should have been apologising the most has been conspicuous in his silence.

The round 4 knee-jerk comes at the end of a week full of apologies. We have had Jack Riewoldt apologising for being a tool, Moloney apologising for being a drunken tool, and Ross Lyon apologising for being a coach of tools. But for mine the guy who should have been apologising the most has been conspicuous in his silence. As a fellow bald man I cannot, nay will not accept Billy Brownless and the new rent-a-feathers he has bought for the top of his bald head. When one of our bald brethren sells out and re sods their field they have lost me forever…. What else has had me knee-jerking this round so far?

Shockers

Andrew Krakouer (40)

Krakouer is testing mine…and I’m sure 200,000 other coaches patience out there. He was just horrible this week, roaming around looking disinterested and lazy. If he keeps this sh*t up I’ll throw him into solitary confinement…via the trade button. To be honest I’m amazed he didn’t get subbed,  Lift your game son! I reckon he is in more trouble than the pop-o-matic bubble. Dropped next week.

Dean Cox (79)

What the?  This came from nowhere….Cox was in world beating form so when he travelled down to The Brothel (Aurora) DT’s sluttiest points venue against 2 spud rucks we all had visions of a 150 at least! Needless to say those who have captained him would be a tad disappointed. If he pulls another couple like that my rucking division will become a coxless pair as he bites my trade button.

Bandwagoners

Jobe Watson (111)

Surely the Watson wagon must be saddled up and ready to go by now. He has transformed himself from a SC specialist into a DT force thanks to some offseason tutelage from Greg Williams. Looks like he picked up all diesels skills but none of the turd like tendencies. Jobe’s kick to handball ratio has gone through the roof and he is now also kicking goals in his spare time. The captaincy has given him a third leg also. Those who worry about the round 24 bye must remember he will still get you into the GF, that’s the first thing you need to worry about.

Chris yarran (85)

After a quick pit stop the Yarran bandwagon is back on the road. After the atrocious round one effort people were either trading him out or have already done it but I reckon the amount of times this guy gets spoon fed the ball is perfect for points scoring. At his initial price I’m staying on for the ride. All aboard!

Friday captains curse

Dane Swan (131)

What can we say about Swan that hasn’t already been said…? He runs like a flogged horse, he’s never kicked a proper drop punt in his life and he’s got a body without one ounce of muscle tone or shape yet somehow he is called a champion. Swan burst out of the gates and for a second week I thought the Friday night captain curse had been blown out of the water. Then all of a sudden after half time he just stopped and I began to think Cox was the right option.  As always the DT slut came out in the final quarter and made everything look rosy again. I’m so sick of trying to justify why I don’t have him and cringing each time he gets a stat……..bring on the bye so I can buy you Dane! The Friday captain’s curse will recommence once Collingwood stop playing Friday nights…

Other news

Scott Pendlebury (121)

On Friday night Scott Pendleburyreluctantly stopped tweeting for a few moments to pump out a quick fire 121. He loves that twitter feed so much it’s any wonder he has time to train. Or do his hair.I don’t know much about twitter, or trending but theres one trend that I hope never goes out of fashion; women wearing tight gym pants around the streets as normal pants. Keep that one up girls!

Mark Harvey

As if our score wasn’t going to be low enough this round with the dreaded multi byeMark Harvey saw fit to make our score even Lower by relegating said player to the emgencies, here’s hoping not too many of you scored a purple glaze donut from that little manoeuvre.

Damien Hardwick

Brett Deledio continued his week on / week off form. Coincidently his scores stay down whilst in defence then go up when he’s in the middle. Reckon there is a hint in there somewhere dimma?

Jack darling (100), Dyson Heppell (90), Ed Curnow (90), Nick Duigan (93)

Special mention goes out to these four lads who stepped up to the plate in our hours of need.  They have performed so well that they will have the Ottens, the Kraks and the knights looking over their shoulders come next week.

You know when you see a hot chick walking down the street and you think man she’s smokin! Then she walks past a shop window and looks at herself while adjusting her skirt or hair..It kind of ruins her whole image. I’m getting kinda sick of seeing  Daisy Thomas checking himself out on the big screen after he does anything on the field. Always without fail he is there with hands on hips, sucking in the big ones while looking at the screen…save it for the replay at home Daisy.

An update on Chris Judds mouthguard from last week.  Advertising agencies are fighting over the rights for a revolutionary new mouthguard that looks like real teeth. It has been trailed in and around the Collingwood area and has proven to be a runaway success.

Commentary of the round so far goes to Michael Christian who when asked how many clearances he thought there had been in the game so far gave the answer “a numerous number” Nice one Michael, you really have mastered that English language.

Bring on the rest of the round!

Anyone else have any knee-jerks for the round so far? Vent them here!

Advertisement

Podcasts

Facebook

Advertisement

More in The Game