Connect with us

The Game

Mmmm… cupcakes

Dream team is like life… a constant string of disappointments. Just a series of events that happen, events that you have no control over because in reality it’s already been mapped out long before you came along and made any insignificant tweaks.

Dream team is like life… a constant string of disappointments. Just a series of events that happen, events that you have no control over because in reality it’s already been mapped out long before you came along and made any insignificant tweaks.

However after you have been playing for a few years you will notice the same things happening over and over again. Just like in life if you learn from what you see you will go some way to getting better. Always remember the old experiment in the Simpsons with the cupcake. The smart mouse got zapped once and never went back; Bart kept going back over and over again and ended up frazzled. Be the mouse.

The first thing you will see is Heath Shaw start the year with one or maybe two 120+ scores. Do not, I repeat DO NOT get sucked in. I did twice before, that cupcake was just too tempting. He will be scoring 50s for you for the rest of the year.

Similarly cupcake number two will be Jarrad Brennan. He will hit the ground running, cruising round the ground with the ball stuck in one palm like a Harlem globetrotter against the loser team. Don’t get sucked in by the two 110+ scores, he will turn out to be the poison cupcake.

This next one seems far fetched at the moment, but I want to stand by my rules. Generally Adam Goodes is the cupcake that takes ages to cook. He is NEVER to be picked until round 12 when he has plummeted half of his original price. He will then go on to average over 110+ for the rest of the year.

The sweetest looking cupcake of all will be Brent Stanton. He will hook around the back of every contest getting cheap kicks to score some HUGE scores early. Do not sample this cake, once the tag hits this premium will be scoring 70s in no time.

Paul Chapman and Shaun Higgins will break as soon as you try take the cupcake out of the paper, peel at your peril. Jed Adcock will get injured in the first quarter of most games – avoid. Luke Shuey will miss games with paper cuts or infected hair follicles or some other ludicrous injury. Don’t even start with Robbie Gray. I’ve been bitten by all these guys……never again.

When the Dream team servers meltdown this Thursday night and your rookie isn’t named DO NOT fall for the Relton Roberts cupcake under the stress of the situation. (How many did he actually eat?) Have faith in your original pick, he will play round 2 and most of the year…. Rockliff or J-Pod anyone?

Finally the most tempting cupcakes of all, the midseason downgrade cupcake. The Muston, the Gysberts, you know the ones…..smell awesome in the oven; you can’t wait to try them! Taste sweet first bite then turn into the stalest thing you ever bought, worse than the top taste cake from Coles. Investigate their past, not just their last 2 games.

After learning from all these lessons in the past I am honing my squad into a team of super reliables. If I pick the right cupcakes I won’t need to eat donuts. No doubt I’ll still see some of you while I’m at the bottom of the ladder because as I said before we have no say in this game, Dream team is a fickle beast.

Any others I’ve forgotten?

Advertisement

Podcasts

Facebook

Advertisement

More in The Game